  i told myself a million times i wouldnt cry. i'm not sad to be leaving seton and most of the people. i dont even think i cried because of that. baccalaureate...it was a waste of my time. i was definitely surprised at some of the awards.
why the hell am i crying now? maybe because of my family. i remember elizabeth's graduation. it was a lot happier than this....i just feel like no one is proud of me. i feel like i worked so much harder than my sister during high school but my family doesnt even care. they love elizabeth and jim, but not me. and i'm tired of it. this day is supposed to be great and happy, and i'm sitting here alone.
my family almost didnt come to baccalaureate. at this point i didnt even want them to. i dont want them to pretend to be happy for me and proud of me when i know they're not. i remember counting down the days til june 1, but now i just want it to be over. i'm ready to get on with my life and continue friendships with those people i want to. and tiffany can't come to graduation because kyra still has a fever. i know its not her fault or anything, but tiffany has been more of a mother to me than my own mother the last 4 years. i know that tiffany is extremely proud of me and is excited for me. and i really appreciate that she's still going to go all the way out to my grandparents for a half hour or so just to see me on my graduation day i love jessie doerrer a lot.
when i came home there were flowers and a card. she wrote me the nicest note and it made me realize how much i miss her. i wish she could come to my graduation, but i never got in touch with her. anyway, its starting to hit me that i'm not gonna see certain people everyday next year. who would have thought that i'm gonna miss laurice so much? i know i wouldnt have because i never really got to know her during volleyball. i thought she didnt like me for a while. but i've gotten to know her so much better this year, and i loved ballet class.
i'm just gonna miss her a lot. and it made me sad to hear her say she thinks she's only gonna stay in touch with one person from seton. i love her a lot. and yvonne, i think i'm gonna miss her most of all. i know i'm gonna see her this summer - i will make sure of it (especially since we have to frolic at allen's pond sometime).
but i love her so much and she's inspired me ever since i met her. i'm gonna miss seeing her tension dance and her yelling at me to stop spazzing. i'm just really going to miss seeing her every day. if i cry today about leaving anyone, i would be crying about her. i know i'm gonna see my pius friends all the time, this summer and next year. but yvonne, i'm not really sure, especially about next year.
i'm definitely gonna stay in touch though. and i'll always have her blog. she always knows how to make me laugh, and i'm gonna miss that a lot! i need coffee. i need to stop crying and i need to forget about my family and focus on my friends. again, i'm listening to memory by sugarcult on repeat and i dont think its helping me i've barely eaten anything today, and i'm about to drink a lot of coffee.
i cant wait til dinner. there will be some good food there. and i really dont want to cry. i might knowing tiffany and jessie are not there. and about missing certain people. but i'm glad i'm sitting next to diana. she keeps me sane when sharde and danielle douglas-jones just wont SHUT UP 
