  So there is so much to write and so little time. nbsp;  I'll have to be catching up soon. nbsp;
 Today I had to present a lesson plan in front of my Universtiy of St.  Thomas class ( like for a grade and everything ;  unlike the lass class)
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 This was a plan based on a Madeline Hunter model with all these elements and it ended up being three pages in length.
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 So anyway,  I was the third person to go.
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 Even though I am a very quiet,
 introverted person of few words,  in my last job I frequently had to present in front of groups of adult learners.
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 So I feel fairly comfortable with it.
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 And before I walked up to the front of the classroom,  I wasn't nervous.
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 (
well,  not nervous about presenting it to the class.
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 of course I was obsessing about the assignment.
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 it's worth 25 of the 100 points,  and damnit,
 Ms.  goody two shoes wants an A)  So i waltz up to the front with my little mariachi music playing and my brilliantly prepared materials all organized and in a row,  complete with note cards that tell me exact what to say,  when to say it and when to show which visual aids.
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 Everything seems great,  but then I begin to speak and my voice is shaking.
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 Like a lot.
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 I was thrown back into high school choir days when we had to sight sing for a grade.
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 (
they just gave us a piece of music we'd never seen and we had to sing it.
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 usually we just sang into a recorder,  but still,  my fucking voice would shake.
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 i couldn't figure out how to make it not do that.
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 it was such a pisser.
nbsp; nbsp;
 Same damn thing today.
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 I'm telling myself to stop the shaky voice thing.
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 I even clear my throat,  but fuck.
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 It still shook.
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 I was SO EMBARRASSED!
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 good god.
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 But afterwards a woman came up and said 'oh,  i loved your presentation.
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 you class is gonna be fun'.
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 Then after lunch a woman who was in my first class said that I did a great job.
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 She said that she was thinking during my lesson " shit,  kim knows what she's doing.
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 i'm gonna go up there and fuck it up.
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 So maybe it wasn't that bad or noticeable.
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 Maybe they think that's just how my voice sounds.
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 Maybe they think i'm like 66 and that's just the way your voice sounds when you get old.  A tall,  very soft spoken man in my group said he didn't even notice that my voice shook.
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 But then he did live in a retirement home for a while.
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 (
he has a master's degree in gerontology)
 So,  i'm almost through!
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 3 more days!  There is so much information floating through my head.
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 It's crazy wild.
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 I adore my instructor.
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 She's fantastic.
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 Super organized,  interesting,  motivating. I'm so lucky.
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 Some of the other professors completely suck.
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 People are sitting in their classrooms silently reading.
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 I would be so pissed.
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 I had my fake nails taken off by the way.
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 (
cultured nails,  whatever the hell they're called.
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 I was sick of them.
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 I'm not a girlie girl any more.  &
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