  At camp-mak-a-dream there was this girl in our cabin, she was in the other set of rooms w/ angie, all of the other girls were on the other side. There was an empty bed so she could have of course moved over to our side. Yet, no one even asked her. We did of course ask if we could eat the easy cheese she brought, but she said no. This is perhaps why we didn't ask her if she wanted to sleep with us that and the fact she seemed a little odd. Not like insane i'm a mental retard odd, odd as if something didn't seem right. So on Friday after lunch a group of us came in and Jessica says she just heard this girl through up and she went and asked her if she was alright. Well of course the girl said she was fine. All the girls of course wanted to chit-chat about what was wrong with her.
They went on about how many they should go ask her again or sit with her at meals. They were determined to see if she was bulimic. I shut my thoughts away. I couldn't stand to here them talk about it. I wanted to go and talk to her tell her there was nothing wrong with being bulimic. Saturday Michelle and Amanda heard her throw up again. Michelle being all good went and told Angie and Mrs. Fiedler. I couldn't stand to hear them talk about what to do. For the first time I had nothing to say on the subject, I wanted them to just leave it alone, leave her alone.
I thought what if I had a bracelet, maybe she would recognize and be able to come to talk to me. Yet, I'm not sure if she would since obviously not everyone knows of the bracelet. Amanda kept trying to imitate the noises she made and I almost wanted to smack her. I think about what I have done to myself in the last year and I wonder how I got where I am. I remember how my eyes filled with blood and how the dr. asked if i had been vomiting lately. Of course I said no. As a result the dr. and the eye dr. were able to come up with no conclusion as to why my eyes had filled with blood. If I hadn't had to go through all the questioning for a month I don't think I would have stopped.
I've changed I went from Jen who didn't care during freshman year to who i am now. I'm not sure who I am now but I know i'm not the same. I have done so many things this year that i regret. But I don't regret the bulimia. I have yet to overcome my problems nor see anything wrong with my problems. Some say people come up with their problems for attention. I know this was not the case. I have never told anyone of all the things I have done this year nor have I ever got caught.
I don't know how to deal anymore. For now I'm here, here in my box, trapped, theres no escaping what I have done, nor can I pretend I have not done these things. They say to thing outside the box. Yet, thinking outside the box means you relize you realize you are in the box. It took me a year to realize I was in the box now I just have to take a step out.... 
