  I love him. I love this man singing completely. I love him and he is mine because I love him so. I’m dancing in my living room. It is my home and I get to enjoy that, right? And I do. When I can. When I don’t open the door and my heart just sinks for all we could have been where supposed to become. All I wanted and didn’t let myself want too much because I was afraid I’d end up like this. “So what, you opted to play it safe? You really cashed in. Oh, that’s right, you were too cheap to invest your true self so you ended with nothing.” My true self? What’s my true self? Maybe I just knew better. “Your true self suspends doubt because it doesn’t have time to doubt.” So maybe it was my true self, disguised as doubt, saving me.
“Okay. Do you feel saved?” Oh, I wonder if this guy will sing just one more refrain. He is so chocolate-y Harry Connick Walt Whitman in a lounge suit deliciously good. Did I mention that he is the man I love? Okay, do I feel saved? Well, that depends on whether I’m an optimist or a pessimist. As a pessimist I say No, I feel older with fewer choices, that’s not saved. Or if I’m an optimist I say God Yes, I feel saved. Look at this moment I get to have, in my home dancing to the voice of the man I love, with this particular set of choices and ingredients to consider.
Thank God I’m having a true and delicious moment, not faking or avoiding one somewhere else. Let tomorrow take care of itself. Wayne Reese, Chris Heim just said, but I think she was talking about this next song, not the one they just played. Who is that guy, the man I live for and have prepared for my whole life up until this very minute? Whoever can he be? 
