  Previously, in the Kingdom… The car ride to Jersey is LONG! Frat guys invade Applebees! Buff sure is drinking a lot! And now, Part II of: THE GREAT JERSEY ADVENTURE! So we’re all hanging out at Applebees, drinking BREWTUSES and eating various appetizers while everyone catches up on each others’ lives.
A veritable all-star team of Theta Chis, significant others, and newfound friends (like the A-Train) are on hand: Me, Kup, Kujo, Mr. & Mrs. Buff, Jewbacca, the Frog and his lovely girlfriend, Bruce Banner, the Dominator, the Nature Boy and the KGBeast. If I’ve forgotten anyone, I apologize. I simply neglected you because this evening firmly belonged to Buff.
Within an hour, the man-beast got so drunk that he: -Bit through a pen (“there’s a lot of plastic in my mouth!”) -purposely urinated on Kup’s foot -proclaimed, while sitting barside, “it’s midnight! There are no kids around! If I want to say f#ck, I can say f#ck! F#ck. F#ck. F#ck f#ck!” he was in rare form. I’d tell you more, but when he started punching me, I decided to turn in for the evening. Needless to say, I was exhausted by then anyhow.
As Kujo had become particularly plastered at that point, he turned in with Broms, Dom and I, and the other few good soldiers stayed behind for the last half hour to close the place. Special thanks to the roommate for bringing me back some crayons, as my affinity for drawing on restaurant placemats is well documented. The next morning, it was WEDDING TIME, BABY! We awoke for the early-morning (11:30am) nuptials, and headed out to the church, but not before I proved, yet again, that I am clairvoyant as all hell. The Scene: Kup and Knor, in their hotel room preparing for the wedding. Kup is ready to go and watching TV, Knor is shaving in the bathroom. The rest of the brothers staying in the room are in the wedding party, and have already left their bags in the hotel room and headed to the church. The phone rings. On the phone, the Best Man, the Nature Boy: “Kup, can you find and bring my camera, I forgot it, it’s in my bag” Kup: “sure. Found it.” Knor: “who’s that, Nate? He forgot the rings, didn’t he!?! ?” Kup: “nope. Just his camera.” ::fade to black:: About 45 minutes or so later, we arrived at the church at 11, just as the place began to fill up.
As we arrive, we’re confronted with this news from the other groomsmen, “Bromberg and Dom just left, they have to drive (25 min) back to the hotel to find the rings. NATE LEFT THEM IN THE ROOM…. Don’t tell anyone” Needless to say, the wedding was a bit delayed. (although we got a HELL of a great laugh out of the situation when the priestess actually ANNOUNCED the reason for the delay to the congregation!
) That, compounded with the debut of Nate’s “BLUE STEEL” look during the entirety of the ceremony made it a very memorable wedding. And for what it’s worth, it was a beautiful little ceremony with a lot of heart. Congratulations and God Bless to Kujo and Darielle. Part III: “MMMMmmmmmmm appetizers.” Coming soon Also stay tuned for: SATURDAY NIGHT SPECIAL—the Bruce Banner Story -apk 
