  EMERGENCY SEX AND OTHER DRASTIC MEASURES: the book is coming to an end this book has been like Alex garland's Der Strand( the beach) and Terzani's A fortune teller told me type affect on me. it is so good and so well placed in my life. my books are like boyfriends are to other women. so sad huh hahaha the only disease you could get due to quantity here though is intellectualism ..kekekeke but... now that its words are being hastily devoured by my eyes with each turn of the page there is a sinking feeling a terrible terrible sinking lonely feeling that i may not find another that would entertain me as much as ESNODM has cause i can see the end coming.
the book isn't about sexual phantasies of the ordinary kind this book is about the ultimate sexual phantasy of my kind its about a doctor from new zealand a secretary from new york who used to work in the Bowery Shelter and a Lawyer from Harvard. its about their experiences as UN peace workers actually trying to make a difference instead of just talking about it and dreaming it..like me. its set during the ages of Farah Aidid in Haiti post Khmer Rouge Cambodia Black Hawk down, Somalia Rwanda and Bosnia. it has made me look at democrats with a different eye. Clinton is a fucking pussy. he needed to be Bush on the Somalia , Haiti and Somalia issue and well Clinton needed to be Bush on the Iraq ,NAfta, Kiyoto treaty issues. i won't bore you with the details if you are unlucky enough to be caught with me sometime soon, you'll hear all about it .
its about the politics taught in school and politics in the real world the ridiculousness of the UN and the insane logic of men. sigh the things that go on in this world sometimes....god there are no words to describe it la. the sad thing is that in every war it is the women that suffer the most the rapes, the humiliation the things they would do to pregnant women etc god it is just so alien, even animals don't do these things in the wild. Man have de evolutionized in ways that make animals look more 'civilized' even in the Joseph Conrad type way. i have heard of female circumcision in Somalia and other parts of Africa but what i didn't know was that they would sew them up! there was this one part of the book where this pregnant woman had to be cut, cause she was sewn up so she could give birth. so you would think she's pregnant right, how come she was still sewn up? well i guess its obvious they are sewn up after sex i guess. fucking hell man! i want someone to just nuke somalia la i am sorry i would rather be dead that be living in a culture like that. ok now that i have grossed you out i will change the subject. back to desperately seeking.. so now that i am 75% through the book this fear has set in and i have this huge anxiousness radiating from my being.
i am desperately seeking something that would live up to this level of enlightenment eeick I am sorry that i am sounding so superficial about the whole thing la so what have i done. live every desperate person i looked online. i didn't get pol pot's autobiography cause, well, i am still rather timid about reading cambodian history at this moment, not until my mum comes to stay or JW gets her ass here.
that way i won't wallow it in my soul alone. i had nightmares reading rwanda accounts as it is and somalia mutilations. PEACE: i had the nicest nap today. it was for an hour cause ritu wanted to go out and have coffee and cake but it was so good. a power nap. you'd never think about how lucky you are when you are sitting at a cafe with you illy cafe waering a barely covering your ass skirt in your bikini facing the ocean with you vagina intact till you read about somalian women. superficially greatful, self obsessed me me. 
