  Its been a really long time since i last wrote my blog. Maybe i haven been spending alot of time on my own. Being on&nbsp;my own means thinking. Thinking means facing reality.&nbsp; Things u thought u have already run away from but u realise u have never step out of it. I am like an oarsman rowing against a current. My will-pressure must be gentle but constant, to listen to God. I have to take hold and keep hold of God. However, at times this race seems so tough and exhausting.&nbsp; God seems so far and unreachable. He being invisible makes me lose hope.&nbsp; Losing hope means i am left with nothing and i am scare. Is my faith not strong enough? God am i being silly to find my miracle? Why things change so fast? Why things that once seem so beautiful in my eyes can just turn into something so different? Why the night never set me free? God, i still haven found what i am looking for. 
