  Ok, so I realize I haven't posted in over a week. And I apologize. But, to me, this blog is an outlet. I use it to vent whatever I'm feeling at the moment. Therefore, I need to feel something in order for the inspiration to write to kick in. And I'm not feeling anything. I'm not mad about anything, I'm not sad about anything. Nothing's excited me. Nothing's confused me. Nothing. I'm just numb. The lack of things happening in my life has caused an emotional drought. I'm numb. Things aren't bad, but they're not particularly great, either. I feel like I'm just sitting still as life passes me by.
Heidi's tried talking to me a couple of times on AIM. I say "tried" because I refuse to be much of a conversationalist. It's not that I'm still mad, but I just don't want talking with Heidi to become the norm. I feel like the best way to get over her is just to make a clean break. Don't talk to her. Don't talk about her. Don't think about her. Don't reminisce. Before, when I was so used to talking with her, I missed her a lot. Now that I rarely talk to her, I don't miss her (as much) when I'm not. So, when she's talked to me, I do my best to be polite.
And I do my best to silence my emotions. But I don't really try to improve the conversation. Very rarely do my replies consist of more than two words. It's not that I'm still mad. I just don't want to talk to her if it means risking all the progress I've made. I have, however, started talking to this guy I met over the Internet. I know, that's dangerous. But I'm 99% sure this guy's no pedophile, murderer, or kidnapper. He's my age, lives in California, and likes a lot of the same stuff that I do.
He's a really cool guy. And we're similar in so many ways I cannot even begin to list them. On the other hand, we're also very different. He lives in Beverly Hills. His family's loaded. He has a 4.6 GPA and plans to go to Stanford or Princeton. I, on the other hand, am just some middle-class kid from rural Iowa attending a high school whose entire student body is smaller than his graduating class.
And because we are from completely opposite worlds, we sometimes struggle with conversation. But it's worth the struggle. Like I said, he's a really cool guy. And I don't mind staying up past midnight to talk to him. But, that's about all the news from here. So, for my readers' sake as well as my own, I hope things get exciting soon. And they will. I know they will. I know this because school starts in just a few weeks. And, when it does, I'll have to struggle to even find time to blog.
Junior year seemed to fly by. But Senior year's gonna be over in a flash. Guess I better buckle my seat belt. Maybe I should be enjoying my last few weeks of serenity instead of moaning about them. 
