  The Republicans in Illinois sure know how to pick a winner.  Only three years ago,  the GOP was a serious force in statewide politics.  Now it’ s a total joke.  Since 2002,
 the Illinois GOP has really done a remarkable job of fielding candidates with either no experience,  baggage from sex scandals or both.  In order to be considered as a statewide Republican candidate in Illinois,  you must:  A)  Have absolutely no experience in public office.
 Coach and self- described “ ultra- ultra- ultra- ultra conservative”
 Mike Ditka recently withdrew his name from contention as a possible Senate candidate following the much discussed departure of Jack Ryan,  another contender with zero experience in public office.  Many Republicans were disappointed when Ditka removed himself from consideration.  Apparently to the Illinois GOP,  nothing says compassionate conservatism more than “ enthusiastic drinking and gambling,
 a “ volcanic temper and support for public executions.  B)  Have a history of involvement in embarrassing sex scandals.  If avant garde sex clubs aren’ t your thing,
 maybe inappropriate gay jokes are more up your alley.  urlLink Andrea Barthwell ,  a potential replacement for Jack Ryan,  has some baggage of her own.  A top official in the White House drug policy office,  Barthwell was reprimanded in a memo for “
lewd and abusive”  behavior towards her staff.  According to the memorandum,  Barthwell:  “ made reference to this staff member sitting on men's laps.
 A kaleidoscope pointed upward was placed on a chair by Dr.  Barthwell as the staff member was about to sit down.  Dr.  Barthwell suggested that the staff member would want to cut the cake available for the gathering because the knife was ‘ long and hard’  and he might ‘
enjoy handling it.  When the cake was cut,  Dr.  Barthwell referred to the pieces as 'most' or 'beefy' and she said to the staff member,  'I know you like it big and meaty.  The Illinois GOP probably would put the kaleidoscope on the ballot if it were an alcoholic,
 homophobic,  sex- clubbing,  football coaching member of the Ryan family,  which brings us to our last requirement:  C)
 Have the last name Ryan.  Beleaguered Governor George Ryan decided against running for reelection in 2002 after a bribery scandal in his administration produced 50 convictions.  So what does the Illinois GOP do?  They nominate Attorney General Jim Ryan.  With nearly a quarter of the Illinois electorate believing Jim to be George,  the Democrats took hold of the governorship for the first time in 30 years.
 Having learned nothing from the double Ryan debacle,  the Republicans nominated investment banker/ swinger Jack Ryan earlier this year only to watch his campaign implode.  Isn’ t it nice to see another party in total disarray for a change?
