  WELL..... its monday, Haneen comes home today :) Ive missed her terribly and she knows it. I drank waaaaay too much last night.
Im semi strugglin this morning. To eat, or not to eat, that is the question right now. Ive always been the stickler that when you are hungover, eat something and you will feel alot better but today im not quite sure if i can. Anyhow, enough of my drunken stupor stories. Lets talk about life. We dont get everything we want out of life do we?? Currently i want to go back to school, want more money, and most importantly i dont want to be alone.
Being alone is great in opposition to bein with a jackass or loser but it seems that someone special to me is slowly drifting away and before long it will be over. I dont want that but such as life. Consequences and pure nature and the forces drawing her away from me and the effect it is already starting to take on my sphere is definetly there. I can tell easily when i awaken, eat, look at her, kiss her even..... she will be gone soon. Ive thought into loving someone, let them go...... is it time to let her go??? She said it herself, we are SOOOO young, and we are. We really are. I could have SOOOOO much done by the time im 30.
Hell look at what ive done in the past 2 years alone?? Its been one wild ride after another and im still goin strong. My potential is there, my will it there, my mind is even there..... All i need is just a TINY bit of inspiration.... thats it..... but my inspiration for the past 3 months is drifting away. Its really time to put up or shut up. Im gonna have to find clarity right now more than ever in my mind, body, spirit.... in my sphere, in my head, in my breathing.
I need to trust her, and myself to do whats best, not what we always want out of life, but what is best. I must focus on the overall BIG picture, and i MUST acceot the outcome of all of this and take it in full stride as a stepping stone and not a stumbling block. That is all for today. 
