  Yesterday proved to be not so fun. It all started when I found myself outside of that safe haven I call the city. I was in themiddleoffreakingnowhere, GA (40 minutes out of the city of Atlanta) and was on my way back from visiting two folks in my program (very sweet fellows, I might add) and thinking of how much I was looking forward to an evening of wieners and balls (aka eating corndogs and bowling), when I noticed the cheap gas prices (since when is $1.89 Gal for 87 grade CHEAP?!
) and decided to fill up my tank. I was in the store getting a bottle of water when some dude ran in the back door and yelled, "He's got a gun! " Yes, you read correctly. G-U-N. Everyone looked around frantically because we didn't know where the gun-toting man was.
Then people were yelling, "He's outside in the back! " So I made a b-line to the front door until another man ran into me saying, "He's on the side of the building! " SO I ran back inside. At this point the 10 or so people that were inside with me were also running around and running into each other, none of us knowing what was happening or what to do.
BLAM! The gun was shot. The sound made the reality of the situation sink deep into my heart: My life was officially in danger. I ran to the bathroom and locked the flimsy door behind me. Once inside the bathroom, I looked at my options. There was no window to crawl out of and no stalls to hide in. I decided that if this guy was on a rampage he might just shoot through the door so I decided to stand beside the door, so the bullets would not necessarily have a direct path into ME. The light and noisy fan was on, so I couldn't hear what was going on outside. I stood there for about eternity (=less than 5 minutes), trembling. By now the reality had sunk to my gut - I swear, if things had escalated any more, I could have crapped my pants.
Now I will never make fun of people who piss or crap themselves in a bank robbery ever again. A most humbling realization indeed. I turned the fan off and could hear that people were talking in normal tones outside, so I poked my head out. People were coming out of the hiding places and so I stepped out of the bathroom. What was weird was how some folks were walking around like nothing had happened.
I don't know if this was because they are used to this or if they were in shock. I did notice how quickly I wanted to "normalize" the situation internally and externally. We all turned as the guy now ran out -sans gun- from the side of the building to the front with three men chasing after him with sticks (we in the country now!). He ran across the divided highway and stayed there until the police showed up. I scurried over to the cashier and said, "Let me pay so I can get out of here.
I just got out of the city and y'all are crazier than we are! " I hopped in my car and drove away in disbelief. The whole ordeal lasted less than 15 minutes. A weird thing is that I didn't have any thoughts of the end of my life, nor did I experience any strong feelings of how precious life is and that kind of stuff.
I did call my family, but mainly to tell them the crazy story. I didn't feel the need to call everyone I know to tell them I love them, nor did I have a renewed sense of life. The biggest realization I had was how frustrated I felt that I didn't know what to do and how helpless that made me feel.
No one banded together or felt any sense of safety in the group. I was stuck in a convenience store with a bunch of strangers who were all alone in their efforts to survive. I guess if the whole thing had lasted longer, we would have wound up bonding, but in this case everyone splintered off. And hey, I just realized that not one single man took care of the safety of the women. In fact it was a woman who diffused the situation. I don't know how I feel about that. Later I went bowling and I SUCKED. ...i don't like this game. 
