  I've been thinking about friendships. Sometimes I feel that I need my friends more than they need me. This sometimes leads to feelings that I am too dependent on others, causing me to want to push myself away from them. This in turn causes me to feel bad that I am distancing myself from people I care about on the basis of my insecurities. It seems like I experience this cycle and these feelings several times during the course of friendships in my life.
I feel awkward trying to make new friends partly because I feel like people already have solid friendship/social support bases before I meet them, and I feel like I don't, so then I feel it becomes a case of me needing another person more than they "need" me; I'm the one trying to form the social support base and everyone else is not because they already have it. This is the way I see the world sometimes. 
