  Well Im feeling happily bummed out today,  i guess it happened after i ran& nbsp;  into Thad at the mall today,  well he actually saw me from a distance so i guess it was him. nbsp;  When i started to approach him my eye's felt stinging/ burning as if though they were on fire.  So when i talked to he was like guess what happened at Wais,
 and are you returning next year and me i was like Unsure!  i actually would have talked to him longer but he was with soemone and so unfortanetely he was like see u later.  and so afterwards since he was the first person/  link&
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 from WAIS that i had actually physically spoken and felt,  since i left there,  everyone else I've seen online and haven't seen them in actuall people,
 tear,  Anyhow this kinda got me down becouse he was a real nice guy to me and i don't even remember how the hell i met him,  but seriously he was the only guy who actually would have spent an entire conversation,  unlike the most of the other males at wais who only stared,  gave a small hello and goodbye and can i borrow a pen or pencil&
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and then there's&
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 evil&
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eye's some would do all&
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becouse of who a i was friends with,  this is an idiotic&
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 thing they did that alway's pissed me of.  Anyway where was i,  yeah so after he left i was left with a feeling of loneliness and longing to what i didn't have anymore,  even though it kind of put a werid Ironic smile on my face,  and the rest of the day i spent with that feeling whether&
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 at the mall which i spent some hr's inside with the family shoping for their need's (  i really need to buy some clothe's)
 oh remindin me i saw thse wickedly cool pant's at Torrid,  yes Torrid even though it's a store for womam's alternative sizes as they say,
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 and I'm not even a size 12 which is the minimun size they have.  But still I'm like what a few sizes away,  and I'm used to wearing loose clothing,  even though i have to hold them up with a belt becouse if they don't they'll slip to my lower waist and so forth.  Anyhow as i was saying yes it might be a store for woman,  I would actually wear some type of female clothing if it isn't to feminine&
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or revealing,
 and so forth.
 mI'm actually used to it in a weird way because A)  whn i was in elementary school my mom had a habbit when i didn't have any vlean clothes she'd give me one of her shir'ts or jeans,  and she'd send me off and most of the time i was so clueless to what i was wearing,  and not until i wa soutside I'd be all like wait since when are these my clothing and so as you can guess after a while i was like whatever,
 but this stopod at the end of 4th grade becouse she didn't want me getting queerish ideas,  which is very ironic considering how I'm bi and stuff,  Oh my god i remeber this one incident in 4th grade whn i didn't have any clean uniform pant's and so we were in a hurry and my mom was in her room and i was like complaining about how i didn't have any clean pant's and so she was like here put this on and get ready,  and so i put them and i was mortified because these were her short,  short's that were what 1.
5- 2. 5 inches away from my crotch,  can you imagine a male 4th grader in very revealing short,  shorts,  i actually tried to lower them but when i did&
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 most of my ass was exposed and so in the end i gave up with trying to lower them.  Whn i arrivewd at school it was okay becouse people choose to ignore it or not comment or what ever.
 and so in the end i didn't get up or stretch because i was paranoid and didn't want people looking up my shorts to see everything.  But still I'm going to buy those jeans' because,
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 A)
 they are on clearence,  B)  the male version of those jeans are extremely heavy and it feel's like I'm doing exercises in them. One step. two steps. threeeeeeeeeeeeee steps.
 and so forth.
