  Current Mood: Lonely but Hopeful Current Music: "Ocean Gypsy," Blackmore's Night&nbsp; &nbsp; Nathan just left a short bit ago for his lovely home in Abingdon. It was a great weekend, but I find myself alone again for the next two weeks.&nbsp;We both&nbsp;think we are&nbsp;alone, and to the casual observer, we seem alone. But I never really feel alone, and whether he knows it or not, he is never without my heart and my love. I find myself more eager for August 30th with every passing day...Oh, to spend every night in his arms, every day in his company. Soon...so very soon...but not nearly soon enough. &nbsp; Friday the most wonderful thing&nbsp;happened.&nbsp;For a few days I&nbsp;had&nbsp;thought he would surprise me, but I thought perhaps that was wishful thinking. I got off an hour late on&nbsp;Friday because I covered for my assistant. (I get to go in an hour late tomorrow.
Hehe. )&nbsp;I expected him to call, as planned, at&nbsp;6:00 when he got off. Well, I didn't get off till&nbsp;6, but it didn't matter&nbsp;because he called at 6:15. I expected him to say "I'm on the road, I'll be there in a few hours. " Instead his lovely Civic pulled in my&nbsp;driveway behind me. Out he stepped, solitary rose in hand, as handsome as ever, and I am sure&nbsp;my ears were covered in my smile. I wrapped myself up in him and the glee I felt at his presence.&nbsp;No one has every done something like that for me&nbsp;before. It was wonderful.&nbsp;We spent&nbsp;Friday night in my bed, cherishing each other's touch,&nbsp;and drifted to sleep together.
&nbsp; Saturday we woke several times before actually getting up. When we finally did, we traveled about the town making preparations, and then we headed out to the lake. Not the popular lake (Smith Mountain), but&nbsp;the secluded, forested, and ever so magical&nbsp;Philpott. I have long felt that&nbsp;Philpott Lake does not belong where it sits. Nathan concurred. It looks like it should be in the Isles somewhere,&nbsp;hidden by&nbsp;the rolling hills. Instead it is 30 minutes from my house, quite convenient&nbsp;I must say. We swam for maybe&nbsp;10 minutes, but tired of that&nbsp;quickly as the&nbsp;swimming hole was crowded. We decided instead to get a paddleboat and take it out on the&nbsp;Loch. I had&nbsp;never been on a boat before,&nbsp;and it was great fun.
Especially being with him, secluded out on the water. I sat on the back and dangled my feet in the water, leaning back every now and then for a kiss. We talked of the future most of the day. Of children and houses and jobs and friends. The game plan is to get married, eventually build a house&nbsp;somewhere secluded (probably Maine or&nbsp;Washington), and raise a few kids (he wants two...three would be better ;D).
After discussion of&nbsp;my goals, he&nbsp;decided that teaching was just what he wanted to do, he&nbsp;just had never realized it. At least I have made one positive impression on the boy.&nbsp;Saturday night we watched The Butterfly Effect with my family. I must say it was one of the best movies that I have ever seen. Much like Donnie Darko in its dark outlook on life and its twisted sense of time. Granted, not as good as Donnie Darko , it was still a very good movie that any self-sacrificing pessimist should see. &nbsp; &nbsp; Sunday we lazed about for the first half of the day, and around&nbsp;1:00 we went to Roanoke to B&amp;N, spent way too much money, and then came&nbsp;home.&nbsp;I finally bought&nbsp; Eye of the World and I started reading it shortly after he left. I've read about 10 pages, not counting the Prologue, and I am&nbsp;impressed with the writing style, though I am not yet into the plot enough to really comment on the skill involved there. He promised me he would read&nbsp; The Stranger&nbsp; tomorrow night.&nbsp;It's one of my favorite books, and I really hope he likes it.
Anyway, he left at about 8:00, and I'll talk to him on the phone once he gets out on the interstate. &nbsp; I now possess The Stranger, The&nbsp;Plague,&nbsp;The Fall, Exile and the Kingdom, The First&nbsp;Man, A Happy Death ,&nbsp;and Between Hell and Reason ,&nbsp;all by Albert Camus.&nbsp;(I also have a biographical book that I suppose I technically stole from the public library, but they never&nbsp;asked for it back, so it's not my fault. ) If you don't know this man, please look into him. He's an existentialist writer to some&nbsp;extent, but he's not annoying and bothersome like&nbsp;Ralph Waldo Emerson or Henry David Thoreau. He's dark, morbid, and he has&nbsp;very valid points and observations about the way the world and human beings work, all presented in&nbsp;tales of intriguing characters and&nbsp;realistic plots. I am still missing his plays Caligula, State of Seige, and The Just,&nbsp; his non-fiction&nbsp;work The Rebel , and I would love to have a copy in print of his essay The Myth of Sisyphus , though I have read it several times.
I&nbsp;have all of his fiction novels, his collection of short stories (Exile and the Kingdom ), and his political essays ( Between Hell and Reason) so I am satisfied for&nbsp;the time being.&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; This song is my all-time theme song, so I feel I should&nbsp;share its&nbsp;beauty with the world...&nbsp; Tried to take it all away, Learn her freedom... just inside a day, And find her soul to find there fears are laid...
Tried to make her love their own, They took her love... they left her there, They gave her nothing back that she would want to own... Gold and silver rings and stones, Dances slowly off the moon, No one else could know, she stands alone... Sleeping dreams will reach for her, She can not say the words they need, She knows she's alone and she is free... Ocean Gypsy of the moon, The sun has made a thousand nights for you to hold... Ocean Gypsy where are you? The shadows followed by the stars have turned to gold... Turned to gold... Then she met a hollow soul, Filled him with her light and was consoled, She was the moon and he the sun was gold... Eyes were blinded with his light... The sun she gave reflected back the night The moon was waning almost out of sight... Softly Ocean Gypsy calls... Silence holds the stars a while, They smile sadly for her where she falls... Just the time before the dawn, The sea is hushed the ocean calls her, Day has taken her and now she's gone... Ocean Gypsy of the moon, The sun has made a thousand nights for you to hold... Ocean Gypsy where are you? The shadows followed by the stars have turned to gold... Turned to gold... No one noticed when she died, Ocean Gypsy shackled to the tide, The ebbing waves, the turning spreading white... Something gone within her eyes, Her fingers, lifeless, stroked the sand, Her battered soul was lost, She was abandoned... Silken threads like wings still shine, Wind swept pleasures still make patterns in her lovely hair... so dark and fine...
Stands on high beneath the seas, cries no more, her tears have dried... Oceans weep for her, the ocean sighs...
Ocean Gypsy of the moon, The sun has made a thousand nights for you to hold... Ocean Gypsy where are you? The shadows followed by the stars have turned to gold...
Turned to gold... Whew this post got&nbsp;long!&nbsp;I think I'm going to start signing these posts with my lovely sig lines I created for my message boards. Hope you all&nbsp;like&nbsp;them!&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I miss the Ocean... &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 
