  So here is the generic response: While I respect the views of my friends, as the one experiencing my life firsthand, I reserve the right to have different interpretations of my life events and changes. Lets jump in with the "beer thing. " Ya, thats really not a big deal. And it hasn't removed my motivation. I started "drinking" literally 3.5 months ago. Precisely when Bekah left.
Amazing. On the other hand, my lost "sense of motivation": Ya, unfortunately(? ) that seems to have left a couple years ago. About the time I moved in with Bekah. It was right then I realized that striving and striving for some outside success wasn't making me happy and wasn't what I wanted in life. Ya, I'd gotten straight As in school, graduated valedictorian, got all As in college (except the few Bs from those that didn't understand my genius ^^) but it wasn't ever really fulfilling.
Not something I deeply wanted. Just how it happened. I was smart. I got good marks. I never really worked for it. But moving in with Bekah made me HAPPY.
Truly happy. I think that is what a lot of those that grew up with me didn't/don't understand. I was finally really content. And i wasn't drinking at that time. I'd just found what I had wanted from life. And I'm afraid its really the only thing i want: To live a very simple existence with the person I'm in love with.
I suppose that makes me a romantic in some horribly shallow sense of the word. I don't have great academic aspirations ... and i'm not entirely sure i ever truly did; it seems I always held them as a response to the goals of my peer group. I thought that was all you needed. A great education and a great job. But it seems different people can have different life goals. I, honestly, don't need riches.
I don't need a PhD. All i want is an average job that pays the bills and allows me to save just enough money to be comfortable. Work isn't life. And i personally don't enjoying treating it as though it is. What I really want from life is to find that one person that I am happy with. And that is happy with me.
The "problem" now is that: without a great value placed on where I spend those initial 8 work hours, I can't find the motivation to be miserable striving to spend it somewhere else. To change my station. And i suppose this makes me quite unattractive. But, at the moment, its me. And what some people may find hard to understand, so I'll repeat it...I was TRULY DEEPLY HAPPY with Bekah. My life was fucking brutally shattered just a couple months back.
Game over man. I was going to marry the girl. That wasn't lip service. I believed the rest of my life was there in front of me and I was quite excited about it. Losing that does take a toll on a person. And i know i fucked up.
I know that the relationship wasn't meant to be. And i learned a lot from it. However, it still hurt. It still hurts. And yeah, i may seem different. But ...
I'm sorry. 
