  you're not a new yorker if you don't run along the crosswalk after the last minute, if you couldn't not care less of the waiting vehicle, if you don't have the patience or the time to wait for the small, white man, if the red hand serves you better.
you're not a new yorker if you aren't always in a rush, if your destination isn't more urgent than anyone else's, if the world outside your head doesn't flash by you in streaks of colour indiscernible. you're not a new yorker if you bat an eyelid at anything out of the mundane, hell nothing deserves such bewilderment. you're not a new yorker if your threshold of tolerance isn't constantly on the dip, reaching levels unfelt or otherwise.
if this is reinforcing that snooty stereotype then so be it, cuz its true. not all of us are bad though; apart from the several wonderfully interesting strangers Ive encountered, am a living example of this fact. Survivors, shall we say, we are, whatever and whoever the enemy. So it is that time of the story again, when a large chunk of reality bashes me in the face. Life after, will be a toughie and could hinge on rather detrimental consequences. dont know what brought this about: Conv with delphine, whose book I have to return, perhaps. I dont know what Im going to do without the ISO, HAVE to join the LA branch eventually. being out on teh streets does this to me, just the potential kills me. will feel helpless without it. let me see how I'll manage this. Tuesday evening then, will be very hectic.
Stranger on 125th and lex said he was getting distracted by the whitehead on my lip which I should pop, well not exactly stranger, was arguing with him for a while about the intent of the ISO's endorsement of the nader campaign. lost patience at end. told him not to. mcdougal street, the second option: one of teh best lattes at cafe esperanto.. will trip out with jenny tomorrow. will forgo street theatre to get work done at home, so I feel less guilty about prioritising pleasure over responsibilities.
Or group in subway crooning to tune of 'land down under' by men at work. good version with guitar, tambourine and vocals only. maybe the awesome weather as well, I love winds that mess up my hair far more professionally than I can ever do. By the time I reached duane reade, I was already severely tuned to my love affair with this city. hence it was routine to help fellow customer choose glasses for his wife/gf/partner/friend/relative.
and why all of this drops in while Im sitting in the 7 train, I will never figure out. of course the chief culprit is 'let go'. so fine the theme is creepily similar to 'i ran away'. I cant help it if a song takes complete control of me. Im a receptor of unfathomable sensitivity. am also the most self-involved person I know. not of the selfish sort, but so freakingly aware of ins and outs of my self. this is the second song which has blown me to bits at first sound. am buying dvd of garden state.
when will I see it again, I wonder. I should either not be left alone to my devices, or should not be allowed to listen to music or should have 'let go' be drained out of me. all impossible hahahahahahaha so what should we do THEN am about to forfeit 10 precious days of delving deeper into the city, thanks to calcutta trip. let's not remind ourselves of that trade-off, shall we. so essentially have approximately 10 days left in new york.
so claremont has area called The village...some consolation, that. Some idiot also tried convincing me I'd "hate" LA after new york. what a jerk. good he featured for about 10 minutes of my life. denial sounds like a good proposition right about now. back to it as soon as I can. after thwarting people to think of future times, tsk tsk. cant wait to met jenny. what happened with us, I dont know. oh god... have to call smitesh also. slowly the list unfurls. kati rolls happen next week, hope asif drinks as many as he can over weekend, to me. I will too.
Im done drinking tonight, have work also. Entertainment in evening took form of people at home discussing 'castes', especially in teh bong context. I wonder if I can pinpoint the line between the jokes and the seriousness. it quite shocks me at times. I was gleeful tonight because it was in reference to ranjini's multiple boyfriends. apparently dibakar still features, apart from strangenamed people like namit and some person who gives her rides back home.
hear me rolling in laughter. I did speak to her though, and shut her up as she started with her trite concerns. wanted to know of gory details of chicago, at which point I impressively cut her short. Didn't get annoyed also. Score, pat on back, etc! oh bought laptop also, should be here by next friday. one less thing to worry about. How many people will I not be able to meet before I leave. One last thing, just wanted to acknowledge the historical date that is today.
6th august: going back to 1945, saw what in my books is the most heinous crime ever committed by man. in Hiroshima. have always been tremendously moved by the attrocity, and just like to take some time off, every year, to think of the fates of millions of innocent civilians in the hands of imperialism. oooh and 11th august is around the corner, have to celebrate my third and final year here.
Crammed but fruitful week in sight. 
