  26.07.04 (Mon)[N2, Day 75][Rei, Day 36] &nbsp; &nbsp; Evening... As like the past, I took the Unholy hours of the dark to type this entry... I guess this is due to the fact that the darkness allows me to feel really comfortable... yet sad ironically. In admiration of the Night sky where stars are scarcely visible due the well lit roads of Singapore. I guess the lights only made the scenery more scenic. The ports are clearly visible from the heights I lived at. It is weird though. That when one is in admiration, one will feel awe-inspired and happier in a way while I feel sad upon admiring the sights.
Yet this isnt the only form of admiration that had brought about saddness to me. I guess this admirations coupled with age has solemn this once wild and hasty individual. Yet this isnt a good thing. &nbsp; &nbsp; If only I was the kid I used to be, asking SA wouldnt have been a problem as I would have gotten it over with the moment I start. This prolonged admiration is perhaps the largest cause for which I feel so weak now. I guess I m a being who cannot adore.
Adoring another will blind me from forsight, making me unclear and indecisive. A being like me who despise weakness this much will despise being blindsighted like this and then being unable to change it. &nbsp; &nbsp; In addition, retreating into a game to hid from reality. Could the once "Flirt" be reduced to such a hermit? Could it be even possible? Speaking of hermit, during the Parents.Meeting.Session(P.T.M), I was deemed as quiet and inactive&nbsp;by the teacher. Could this really be? When I personally feel I talk too much. I wish that swine could just think this way of herself. I will get to that later. But another highlight during PTM was SA's mum. As she was with SA, I started understanding alittle more on how her family is probably. But I have decided not to use this information as I scared Dawn the last time I told her what I could sense.
&nbsp; &nbsp; Now about the Swine. In a previous entry, I mention briefly about the Swine who followed me from SRJC to CJC. This bane has now done even more harmful stuff. I will not list them down yet as I m going to turn in soon. But in response to her hostilities and pressence, I m about to start the 101 Reason Why I Dont Eat Swine (101R.W.I.D.E.S) movement. This way, I m able to distract the anti-Edwin sentiments and direct them to Swine. &nbsp; &nbsp; To discriminate... it seems like our nature.
But discrimation was once a virtue. It is the ability to judge the difference. But due to modern day literature connatations, it has a bad meaning of being direct against a certain characteristics. Yet nevertheless, life is much more fun when you have a direct enemy who you can openly insult. The current day politics are so grey as enemies and friends seem to be 2 jobs that one is able to moonlight with.
My discrimination against Petrina is perhaps appearance. But if you are one who believes in my keen senses about personality with appearance and voice then my discrimination is a purely judiciary form of decision rather than an arbitary choice. &nbsp; &nbsp; I shall leave you with a joke I made when I realise we were sitting next to a drain while drinking. "Why do we drink beside the chalice of the Swine? I swear she will drink out of the sewage if given the chance! " &nbsp; Sincerely, Aven Rei (Solemn Prince) 
