  I thought that once school let out Monday's were supposed to get more interesting. Oh well, I won't hold my breath anymore. Blue really doesn't compliment me anyway. Well, this is the place to get off whatever's on my mind and I guess that this is what's on my mind the most right now.
I was talking to Jess tonight and she asked me, after reading this blog, if Ben was all I ever thought about. Taking a look back on everything, I realize that I have been pretty shallow and callous when it comes to Ben and Jess and now that I see it, I'm sorry. I feel bad talking to Jess about Ben because sometimes it seems like she just doesn't want to hear it. Who can blame her? It's not a very fun conversation piece, especially since she's Ben's cousin.
Kind of awkward moment there. I just can't help myself and I hope she'll understand that, cause I know sometimes it's hard for me to understand it myself. He's my first boyfriend, the first person to ever really want to be with me in that way and all just because I'm me. It's one of the best feelings in the world and I don't want to miss out on anything because I already regret too much.
Jess is the closest thing I have to a sister right now and if I lose that, I don't know what I'd do. Probably fall apart more than I am now. Looking at the clock, I'm realizing that it's now only 11 o clock at night. It's still too early to call it a night and I'm bored and increasingly lonely. Story of Sam I suppose. 
