  Wow, summer just keeps clicking away. It seems like there is alot left but then again it seems like I'm running out. I want fun things to come quickly, like the 5th of July and of course visiting Montana. Sometimes it seems like I have alot of fun everyday, but then everyone leaves and it's sad again, or somewhat sad, that's when I relize summer is going by and I cant stop it. I can however make the best of it. But am I making the best of it?
Could I be doing things differently? Everytime something happens I look back right away and wonder if my input would have changed the outcome? I know that the good things in my life never last, and that tears me apart. I hope I have changed and that the good wont go away. Life is what it is, trial and error, pain and anguish. Sometimes it goes good, but you really have to try.
I must be failing to try, but I have what I want, or need. I dont mean to make these posts so damn despairing but Hoobastanks music is entering my mind and twisting my thoughts. I feel the songs are a part of me, but I guess that's how all music is to everyone. I just think the members of that band must just go through alot, but then I see everyone else going through the same and I realize we all are very similiar. Some go through life getting and having exactly what they want, but maybe I'm greedy. Maybe that's why I see them as having no problems, just because I'm not them and I dont see the rough parts of it.
I dont know exactly, and I may never. I hope nothing jolts my ever so fragile life into an uncontrolable mess. My biggest fear is having to spend the rest of my schooling in Montana, at some crap for crap high school with people I dont know. Kinda like how it was here before I became so attached to my friends. I still see my friends from Montana as my friends, but the two worlds are so far apart it sometimes makes me sad. Forget that, I dont get sad too often, and thinking about it now just isnt good.
Uhh, where do I end? The music is again here, knocking at my head and my thoughts and it feels as though I need to sing them aloud on every rooftop everywhere. Disappear, if only life was like this, the lyrics seem so right, but is it like this for anyone at all? Lucky, another one that wraps around my mind. And of course the one song I listen to the most, Unaffected. Hopefully I'm not going insane sitting here in an empty house waiting for a soul to approach my doorstep, hoping for the right one, but only recieving unexpected visitors.
Ohh well, this must now come to an end, I've written too much and I need communication. Kassandra has stepped outside, hopefully she will return in an honest amount of time. As always, peace. 
