  Was driving to work this morning,  laughin at a skit on the radio when i turned onto the dual carriageway. i was on the outside lane as I have to turn left at the next exit and its just easier that way (
i feckin hate trying to lane change when you have limited space,  it just stresses me out seeing my exit looming ever closer and panicing that no- one is letting me out and i start to have visions of myself having to do a 2Fast 2Furious stunt across the road) so anyway I had just turned and was speeding up when i heard that god awful sound of a small car with a huge engine,
 favoured by little- boy- racers the world over,  speeding past me on the inside lane. i was just about to do my now infamous " what an asswipe,  you are and you probably have a needledick"  face when i spotted it was actually my ex. one of many,  but the only one who managed to beat me to the punch of breaking up with me before i broke up with him.
he treated me badly after the break up and it turned nasty)  He'd gone past me at this stage but his revving only got him as far as one car up from me. but i dont know how many other blokes drive a crappy FIAT bravo and have a Cartman from south park toy in the back window so i knew it was him. and yes this was the same ex as the one who wanted the WWF mug from New York. so you see what i mean,  if he hadnt broken up with me because he was cheating on me,  i would have done it. theres only so many conversations you can have about a chickenwing crossface manouver! and it did hit me as i was looking for wrestling t- shirts that maybe. just maybe he wasnt the guy for me,
 my only regret was spending so much money on the fucker only to have us break up a week after i came back!  but anyway,  i became like a woman possessed.  I was cursing the L driver in front of me for doing 25 on a dual carriagway ( something which pisses me off on my sunniest of days)  because i wanted to speed past him without even looking and make him SUCK MY DUST!
 Petty?  of course!  for a split moment I became " Petty mc Pettyton"  and i was bloody proud to be!  Look at me,  im an independant woman in my Ford Ka,  and I dont need a man. especialy one who lists WWF as one of his hobbies!  If I'd have had a Gloria Gaynor CD id have blasted him out of it!  Bloody learners!  i know im one of em but i dont bloody drive like one!  put yer foot down and go!  thats my motto!
