  yo wassup?  ok,  just 15 minutes ago,  when i checked my e- mail,  i found that my ex,
 shoninura yokonamatisuka just e- mailed me!  ( i now know why he hates his name. if i have to type it in full again,  i swear i might throw my keyboard out the window.
 that bloke!  i didn't know he still remembers me!  kamquat!  he e- mailed a new pic of him and his family living the cold 'wretched' life in london. you gotta admit man,
 the weather in london can piss you off in the long run. yeah,  he became whiter but hee hee,  more buffed up!  yes. to those who knows how woozy i can get.
yes,  HE'S DAMN HOT!  damn!  almost all my exes become cuter after that. wonder why.  hey,
 i did say ALMOST. well,  there are two people who look even worse now. ok,  i'll change that. 3 of them took it pretty badly after i left.
ha ha ha!  i can be so evil at times.  i like.  the whole family is making progress with the 'i'm miserably sick' bug.  mom and dad are almost back to their normal body temp but i realize they are purposely trying to sound sick so that i will be their 'slave' for another day. grrr.
 i got a mail from kieran today.  i know he reads my blog so i'm not going to cover up whatever i'm going to say.  i don't know whether i'm avoiding him.  ( thank god,  i didn't tell keith about my blog!
i guess,  i'm just not ready to face him yet.  i know how much keith means to him and i know that keith means a great deal to me too. i guess,  i'm really uncomfortable keeping my secret with kieran from keith. kie,
 youshould understand that i'm not doing this on purpose. i don't even know what i'm doing now or whether,  i really am doing something.  i'm sorry but you and keith are very important to me, just the way liam, my bestfriends and family are to me.
 i'm stuck in a rut now. i cannot hurt any of you but then again,  to free myself of this pain,  i might have to hurt either one of you,  which i'll never.  please promise this kie,
 promise that you'll never mention this to keith!  PLEASE!  let me be the one to hold on to this secret!  you guys have always been the ones to keep all bad news from me.  please let me be the one to shield you guys from the pain just this once!  it hurts a lot when secrets burden but if to keep your loved ones safe and happy,
 it's worth going through the pain.
