  The other night I was minding my business at home when I got a call from Rick and Billy. Rick was the Safety/Loss Prevention Mgr where I worked until urlLink he was laid off last week and Billy is the Terminal Manager there.
Billy and I are still working but Rick is already collecting his unemployment. Rick is about 55, drives a Dodge Dakota Truck, and fancys himself a Cowboy. He is fond of saying stuff like "If you can't be a good example, you can serve as a good example of a bad example. " Despite all of that he is a pretty cool guy to hang out and have a beer or 30 with. Billy, on the other hand, is more of a high-tech redneck.
He used to be a manager at UPS and has an ex wife and 2 kids. He is country but always manages to pull a witty saying or two out of his ass. Rick and Billy had been out golfing and were pounding a few back at a local watering hole near work when they had the bright idea to call me. After a little arm-twisting they convinced me to go up there. I got cleaned up and left. I had to stop for gas along the way so it was about 45 minutes to an hour after I talked to them when I got there.
It was busy but I managed to get a parking spot and headed inside. I looked around and didn't see them. I was just about to leave when I spotted them sitting at the bar. In addition to being sun-burnt they were both pretty "wasted. " I had to stand up as there weren't any empty barstools and got a cold Miller Lite from their bucket. Billy was in rare form and Rick was already starting to slur his words. I was well in to my second beer when Rick announced, "I'm a heading home to see the old lady.
" Now Rick lives about an hour away up the Interstate. I repeatedly offered to drive him back to my place and Billy offered him a place to stay too but Rick wouldn't hear any of it. "If I don't come home tonight, Carla's gonna be pissed. " You should see what she will do if something happens to the truck. Well, eventually Billy and I gave up and Rick headed out the door. I grabbed his barstool and watched Billy try to pick up an old bar-hag by blowing straw covers at her.
This wasn't going too well so I settled up, said my goodbyes and left. As I am walking through the parking lot I see Rick, still stumbling around, looking drunk and lost. I follow him back in the bar and watched him straggle over towards Billy. Now keep in mind it has been about 20 minutes or so since he left. "Where have you been 'cuz? " Billy calls everyone 'cuz or 'bo. " I was walking out to my truck when some dude pulled me aside.
He said the PO-LICE were around and it wasn't safe to drive. He said he wasn't drunk but he didn't have a license. " Well, both Billy and I thought this was a little odd, ok, alot odd, but we didn't pick on Rick too much about his Parking Lot Buddy. Afterall, he was pretty schknockered and it would have taken too much drunken explaining. I hung out for a few more minutes and then left.
The next morning I got a call from Billy. He carried Rick home and they both crashed hard. They did some "cyphering" and figured that they each had over 25 beers a piece that night. They might be alcoholics. Rick couldn't find his keys so he called his old lady to meet them at the bar. Rick and Billy pulled in almost simultaneously as Rick's wife Carla. They all three noticed Rick's truck was gone at the same time too. The owner was at the bar and confirmed that it hadn't been towed. Rick's Parking Lot Buddy had stolen his truck!
Rick's wife was pretty understanding about it. Billy said she cussed Rick out, hit him in the head, kicked him in the balls, and then kneed him in the head again. "I felt bad for 'ol Rick but I was afraid she was gonna come for me next, 'bo, so I high-tailed it outta there. " Note to self: Don't piss Carla off. To make matters worse Rick was so drunk there was no way he could even begin to ID his Parking Lot Buddy.
Parking Lot Buddy had gotten quite a haul. In addition to Rick's Dodge Dakota truck he also got some of his rings (valued at $3000), his digital camera and Rick's self-respect. Rick's life had gone to shit in the space of a week's time. He was flown to the Corporate Office and laid off unceremoniously, got a massive hangover, had his truck stolen with his valuables, and his buddy watched him get the tar beat out of him by his wife.
I guess the old man was right. He had become a good example of a bad example. 
