  Dear Bloggie.  have been two days since i come into here to post something .  just wanna say how i feel about these few days ba.  hrm. nbsp; i also not really sure whats going on.  things seems to get difficult.  and i seems to be drawing so far away from Him.
 far far away.  am i able to stand?  i think i shouldn't ask that coz i dun have a choice.  i have to stand so firm for His sake.  building up his people.  but i am just unable to set my own life before him.  taking out of private time to serve him.  i guess i am not going to blame&
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 the devil but its all my fault.  i am the one that been doing all the dumb things.  many times i thought i could just simply walk back to him.  but i am already sick and tired of being crushed down to zero again and again.  whats my heart doing?
 whats happening to my life?  i really dunno.  Nowadays .  studies and projects are all coming out.  i just seems so slack .  not doing everything.  am i just lazy in nature?  i duno.  just seems to far.  i am suppose to be well organise and well prepared in all the things i do with Him in my life.  but i just dun seems to be following Him well.
 i am not walking well in the path.  i am not well .  i am not running well in the race.  i really wonder .  if i am not running well.
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 i will be causing my whole team to fall.  but how can i do that?  i really dun understand what am i think.  haiz.  thinking lots of things.  just seems to be tired everyday.  i guess i am just doing too much.  many times i guess its better to stand alone.  being alone quietly sometimes really is such a peace.  there wun be headache.  but i hate the loneliness.  i dunno .  can someone bring me back?
 i think i have been dazing around everyday.  seems to be in dream land everyday.
nbsp;  hrm.
 got a feeling that i am getting sick real soon.  having flu.  having headache.  gonna have a fever soon.
 hrm.
 Am i always trying to get things done fast.  theres lots of things that cannot be rushed.  i think i am getting more and more insensitive.  i think i have changed alot.  i really start to get sick of Poly life.
 its tough .  really tough mental.  not about Intelligence.  but about Socialogy.
 hrm.
 maybe no one understand me.  beside Father up there in heaven.  or am i just thinking too complicated.  seems to have lots of things that i have to let go.  let go .  let go.  Nowadays.  i just dun seems to feel my heart.  i dunno my own heart beat.  i dunnno where have it flown to.
 haiz.
