  Now, normally I don't set aside much sympathy for criminals, especially the felons who are found guilty of the unmentionable crimes, like the group of people that get on the Metro at one end of the line, take up all the available seats, and remain seated there until the other end of the line, making it certain that no one, me especially, will ever ever find a place to rest their bones.
Ok, back to the random thought. The one time I really do feel bad for them, is if the police raids their house/apartment/flat/whatever while they're halfway through shaving. I mean, they're not going to wait there until he finishes shaving the left side of his face, no, they'll drag his foamy ass to the curb. He'll have the goofiest mug shot of all the other cons. He'll probably be made someone's bitch the first night in the can, just out of principle. See, that's why I don't break the law. I have this deeply rooted fear that if I were to get caught for it, that's probably how it would go down.
Yeah, I know it's an irrational fear, because we all know that I can't even grow a beard. I just get fuzzy. 
