  More workers came to the house today. Now instead of waking up to buzz saws and Mexicans yelling for more supplies, I woke up to the smell of noxious fumes . Apparently they started staining the crown molding in the media room. Twelve hours later I'm still nauseous. Today I realized that it's perfectly good to be as short as I am. It's good to be short. I don't have to put up with all the pressures that you feel when you're tall, like worrying if people will be attracted to you or if you'll ever play professional basketball. Besides, being short is cool; you know, all that cool air sinks down to the ground. And stuff.
Every day for the past few months I've taken a capsule of this anti-acne medication. It's designed to destroy the slightest chance of a minor blemish on my absolutely perfect skin. Well, I took a look at the side label on the bottle of pills. You should avoid prolonged or excessive exposure to direct and/or artificial sunlight while taking this medicine. ... Score! 
