  I don't know what you want from me! Do I need to sacrifice something? Why don't you just leave me alone, mean and wicked urlLink God of Horrible Mondays !
Seriously. You miserable bitch. I know you're "all powerful" and still "very much having your way with me" and "don't care whether or not I become insane" and "your sole purpose on this earth is to aggravate me to no end" but seriously, could you pretty please with sugar on top step the fuck off? Today, this Monday, you've gone too far. My computer crashed, I spilled juice on myself, and the first 3 computers in the training center that I attempted to logon to each had their own special problem. Computer #1 worked just fine but danged if I didn't check to make sure it had a mouse before I started to use it. I know lots of keyboard equivalents but those only got me so far. No mouse equals me having to find another computer to use. Computer #2 had a mouse, and I know because I double checked before I started it up, however it didn't have an Internet connection and anybody who's anyone knows that you can't work on a computer without an Internet connection.
You might as well just get out the old pen and paper if you don't have an Internet connection. No Internet connection equals me having to find another computer. I cauticously approached Computer #3 making sure it had both a mouse and an Internet connection. Then I realized some of the keys on the keyboard didn't work. A semi-functioning keyboard on Computer #3 equals me about to lose all sense of sanity. After wasting a good two hours accomplishing approximately nothing, the Network guy came over to let me know my computer was functioning once again and also he had given me a much larger memory card.
You hear that? I got something good out of it, so take that you stupid {insert mean degoratory slur right here} God of Horrible Mondays! P.S. I just rotated my computer monitor after typing the above and smashed my pinkie between the 400lb. monitor and the stand. Yea, that sounds about right. 
