  do you ever feel disconnected somehow? like your life is really a play, and you're watching yourself have it out with other characters from the audience?
odd, i know...sometimes i just feel so detatched, i can see what's happening but i'm really powerless to do anything, the earth keeps spinning, turning away and here i am stuck in the same place. it will change though, when god comes. i have so much faith in this i'm blind to everything else, all the sceptics who don't think it will work.
god has told me it will so i'm just relying on him, picking up my cross and carrying on even though i'll get called wierd for it. i feel like what debs was saying in her blog, i know my struggles are nothing like on the scale of many people, but they're mountains to me. this could be lack of strength on my part but what i lack in stamina i will make up for in determination. i've been stuck in this pit for ages, now i'm not relying on others to haul me out but climbing out myself, chanelling my failing energy through god who is lifting me up.
every day is like a battle, struggling against the negative emotions which threaten to overwhelm me, but i won't be brought down again. i'm tearing the flimsy walls apart which i used to use to defend me from lifes ups and downs and crawling into the arms of my father. he's everything i need, my life source. thankyou x 
