  [This message brought to you by reading some of the posts in the Corporate Wasteland forum over at urlLink The Boots 'N All website . I bitch a lot about work. I hate my job. I've basically hated it not long after I started working here, but for this area, and for someone like me (no college degree yet/still in school), it pays too well for me to quit.
They also let me have a flexible schedule which I need for school, and I do get free DSL because I work here. I am just so tired of having a job that sucks all of my energy, makes me feel bad about myself, doesn't let me really use my skills or talents much, etc. Now that I have my apartment, I need to be able to pay for it somehow, you know? So I can't just up and quit before I find something else.
I wish I could quit, but I don't know where I could go. I would need to find something where the pay is comporable and they would give me a flexible schedule for during the school year.
I just feel sometimes like I can't get away from this place and it drives me nuts. :( It's kind of funny, because now that I am doing this other gig in the deli at $GroceryChain (hehe, when I am at $LocalISP I called it "The Other Place"), I'm remembering what it was like to have a non-office job. Even though I am not used to being on my feet all day like that, I like the feeling of being able to just do a good, solid, honest day's work, get paid, and go home at the end of the day and be me again, without feeling like I have all of this mental/psychic baggage to deal with. With my current job at $LocalISP, I think I've gotten into the trap of letting my job define too much of who I am.
I would have to look back over my old journals, but I think it would pretty much show a pattern of me being depressed and miserable ever since I started working here. I am not really the corporate type. I wish I could find some sort of production-type job where I make decent money and just show up, do my work, and go home. I am actually surprised at how much I am liking working at $GroceryChain. Everyone is extremely friendly, I get to move around a lot, you stay busy, and the customers are pretty nice. I dunno...I just feel so, so, SO emotionally exhausted after the past 2 years of my life that I really think I am just plain tapped out.
I need to find a job that doesn't make me miserable for 8 hours, pays enough for me to get by, and maybe get the hell out of here. Now that I have SNS, and I have my financial aid covered for school, maybe I can just work at SNS during the semester. I would so love to quit working here at $LocalISP. 
