  Why is it that even when I tell myself to act nicely towards my parents -- reassure myself that despite our differences that I love them -- I still end up acting like an ungrateful twit? And why is it that whenever it is I need to prove something to people (in the case of my parents, that I am not disorganized or irresponsible) I always end up acting the opposite in front of them?
(Try leaving my wallet by the pool for four hours unattended. ) I don't understand my behavior at all. Oh well. No one does, I guess. Also, relaxing out in front by the pool, I realized how gosh darn stressed out I was while in graduate school. I guess all that dumb theory freaked me out about the state of the world and then there was the whole I most-likely-won't-find-a-job-thing that I felt like I had been battling everyday.
"What are you going to do with THAT degree? " People would say. OR "You want to go into publishing? " (Laugh, laugh, laugh. ) "Well, be prepared for a life of poverty. " Um, uh, THANKS. But I suppose that is more my problem than their's anyhow. One really shouldn't let others get under one's skin like that. It just isn't healthy. 
