  Okay, so I don't really have suicidal urges, me or my 'sexy smile'. I was just in a 'I suck, screw me' state of mind. Actually, I was lying in bed with the light off and I suddenly got up, turned on the computer, connected to the internet, and started ranting! The reason I feel crap is because there is so much crap in the world and I have an expectation of myself to fix it all, but I know I never could, which makes me kind of sad. And because I've realised that I have to find my own 'truth', my own path, because their isn't one just laying there waiting for me. Life sucks, but it could me so much worse. 
