  Well i got my schedual.  errrr. 1- art/ miller s1 +  s2 health/
anibale,  2- algebra/ newsom,  3- religion/
hodges,  4- world civ/ roth,  5- english/
schoen,  6- spanish/ cervantes.  it just seems so final.  and this has made me slip back into depression.
 jsut cause i am not sure what i really want.  its like errrrr.  wen i think back.  i was a happy lil kid K- 5th then i was even excited bout goin to st.  m.
 wow did that change once i got there.  i cried myself to sleep evey night.  i had a chance to change skools.  or atleast my mom said if i really wanted it bad enough i could.  but i didnt.  A)
 cuz i was scared to.  B)  i wasnt sure what high skool i wanted to go to so if i stayed i could keep my options open.  C)  st m was easier. so i stayed.
 and i think i am happy bout that choice.  sorta.  then in fifth grade my mom promised me i could choose what high school i wanted to go to if i went to st m.  well that was total BS.  i told her i wasnt sure i wanted to go to CHS wen i got ym acceptance letter.  and.
 and she said we'd talk bout it.  but we never did.  and i never braught it up since iw as still unsure and am still unsure till this very minute.  so enrollment came around.  and i was enrolled.  did my mother ever ask me if i wanted to go?
 never.  hmmm.  well isnt that interesting.  so today i got my schedual.  and it jsut seems so so so final.  and i still dont no what i wana do.
 and it totally sux!  but i guess i will brave CHS.  and if i cant do it i'll transfer. Not to mention.  my freinds factor has completely changed.  and now has no affect on either place i would wana go.
 yet another thing that bothers me.  not that it changed.  but the reason y it changed)  so ya.  now i am all sad and upset jsut cuz wen i think .  i get that way.
 and it isnt good.  and then all this reminds me of a poem i wrote like sometime during 8th grade.  i think.  so here it is:  She Had Changed Happy as a child was she,  Happy about friends,
 Happy with her family,  Happy with her life,  Then a change came along,  Now there was no happiness,  Worried about her friends,  Unhappy with her family,
 Scared to wake up each day,  She left her friends and met new people,  Not one she met liked her though,  Alone she was almost every day,  Seeing her old friends every chance she got,  She stayed with her family but things did change,
 She grew older and wiser,  She realized her family wasn’ t all that loving,  She realized her family wasn’ t all that great,  She slipped away from her family every chance she got,
 Then she got a chance to go back to her old life,  She had the chance to be with her friends again,  Or she could take a whole new life,  Start all over and to be what ever she wanted to be,  She wanted to go back to her friends,  To be happy and care free,
 To not worry about the fights in her family,  To look forward to each new day as an adventure again,  She had to decide which path to take,  Her old life,  Or a new life full of questions and new opportunities,  She wanted her old life more than anything,
 She could not go back to her old life though,  She realized a scary thing,  She wasn’ t that little girl anymore,  To many things had happened to her,  She could not have her old life back,
 Because she had changed,  Her friends did not get her decision,  Her parents had never liked either path,  She had to make the decision she made,  She did not want a new life,  For she could never have an entirely new life,
 Or be an entirely different person,  She could not have her old life,  For she was not the same person anymore,  She took the only path there was,  One she had not noticed before,  The summer before high school,
 She took the path she had chose,  She could never take back what she did,  She didn’ t have any choices to make any more,  The path she chose,  Although chosen selfishly and sad,
 Was the one she had to take,  For it was the only right choice she had,  She wrote a very nice letter,  To her family and friends,  Then she took her life,  The night before school,
 For there was nothing left for her kinda long eh?  well ya.  now i am tired of typing.  but ya.  so i got a soccer tourny tom.  sre hope we win.
 heh ya right.  ( im goaly)  but ya.  o n stefan comes bak tom.  i think.
 so that will b kool.  o n i got my hair dyed.  it looks sooo kickass.  well thats it for now.  and heres where i leave u.  so until next time.
 =  Your's Truely 
