  sighs. it seems like problems are nv ending for me. i'm sorry... i really didn't want things to turn out this way... the group had an outing yesterday. i went over to my hunny(zinmar)'s workplace b4 i joined the gang. got her a dolphin necklace. she loved it.
haha. glad. Kel used CJ's phone to call me up. n as usual, the first thing he'll ever say is "TA MA DE.".yea. i'm very used to it. hmmm...i got there pretty late.
so sorry abt it. got there and after dinner, they decided to go for pool. i talked to rizal about me n zin quitting. yep. i'm so childish to even think of that. i'm so irresponsible.
sighs. it's understandable y riz got pissed. he got really serious in his tone. i was really afraid then. how i wish i could just run away. after CJ n jas talked to me...yea...they talk sense.
haha. but it's too late. cos i've alrdy told riz abt it. n i dun think he'll wanna talk to me anymore...anyway, riz, we're staying. we'll nv bring up that stupid thing again. Boss sent me home after that.
he's really nice to me. whenever i'm with him, i feel secure eh. cos he always say "dun worry, boss will settle everything.". haha. thanks, akil boss. huggles.
he gave me assurance. i felt a whole lot better last night. i woke up this morning. got online. was added to kel, cj, akil n jaisie's conversation. everything was pretty ok at first.
but after all those poems kel wrote abt each of us, jokes aside, serious stuffs. kel kinda like blasted me. actually, in some ways, he's right. i was pretty lost, so i talked back. i was nv trying to argue with him or anything. all i simply wanted to tell him was that each individual has their problems.
it's all abt each individual. but i think he's not willing to listen. dunno wad to do or say anymore. i was really lost...and in fact...really sorry and upset. i dun deny the fact that i was pretty hurt by wad kel said, "...the individual is u.". kel is nice n i noe he's always trying to help.
so i kept quiet after that. i did cry. i'm not a crybaby,i cry only when i'm really upset or hurt. so i was indeed hurt. i was afraid cj will hate me for putting her thru these. but thankfully, she's doesn't.
hugs for cj. kel's pretty pissed by me blasting him. he said he'll forgive but nv forget...well, it applies to most. i'm sure. i dun blame him. simply hope he'll eventually put it behind.
thanks to kel, at least he cared to solve the problems. it's tiring to hate...i'd rather smile than sulk. sighs...for each problem, it all depends on how u see it. and if u ever want all to think or feel the way u do, life's gonna be hard. so, when it comes to viewpoints and feelings that we can nv control, i always choose to advise then ignore. it's still up to that individual to love or hate, we can't force them to feel or think the way we want them to.
talking abt love... i'm kinda like a fool in love. haha. zin's right, i'm unlucky with guys. haha. nvm, i'm waiting patiently for my Mr. Right.
:D Gee...i wish for peace in the world. hopefully all the problems i'm facing will be resolved soon. PEACE~ 
