  Well, ladies, I am back. I just wanted to preface tomorrow's Twain's gathering by telling a little story about the never ending adventures of cheese in a tube. It all started about half way through my trip when I wandered into a local English grocery store to search for this famous cheese in a tube. The first thing I realized (stupid of me for not having this thought before this point) was that I didn't know whether the cheese was in a tube in the refrigerator section or in the dip/sauces section where our normal cheese whiz resides. So, I wandered around aimlessly up and down the ever so unorganized and illogical isles hoping for the sight of something resembling cheese in a toothpaste tube.
Finally, I came across what seemed like such in the refrigerator section. Of course the tube said "keep me refrigerated. " My thoughts then turned to "what am I going to do with this stuff for the next five days? I have no refrigerator. " Could I hang them out my window...that would work for the evening hours, but of course the days I was in England were the hottest days the country had seen yet. I decided I would wait until the last day of my trip and hope I could find a place to buy it then.
It is now three days before leaving. I am staying at a person's house, so I now have a fridge. I find cheese in a tube yet again in a small hole in the wall grocery store in the northern hills of England. I buy their last two remaining tubes. I figure this is better than nothing, but was disappointed because I really wanted a few more.
Anyway, I bring the 2 cheese in a tubes back to the house and safely secure them in the refrigerator. The day before our plane takes off, we are all packing our stuff to relocate to a hotel near the airport as we are currently in the northern hills of England. Upon the hustle and bustle of the relocation, the cheese in a tube is neglected and the family jets off to the train station without it. It is left all alone in the fridge probably to rot until the 84 year old woman who owns the house realizes she needs a fall cleaning. I become depressed. I was so close to success, yet now, so far away. I become obsessed to find this cheese in a tube.
My family laughs over little awwws of sympathy. There is a spark of hope...my family and I had to return to Windsor to pick up our suitcases. We decide to dine at a restaurant in a shopping area (the same area I first found the cheese in a tube). It is 5:30 pm. All the shops and stores are closing as humans don't work after 5:00. We sit down at the restaurant. I order a glass of wine. I tell my mother what to order me for dinner. I run out of the restaurant in search of the grocery store and hope it is still open.
I find it finally...and it is open. I buy the cheese in a tube and make it back to the table before the meal arrived. The cheese in a tube is mine, yet again. Cheese in a tube has become the topic of conversation of my entire family...yes, ladies... aunts, uncles, cousins, parents, etc. All of them now want to know WHAT IN THE HELL IS SO SPECIAL ABOUT THIS CHEESE IN A TUBE. I am embarrassed and try to talk about the food, the wine, the weather even. They would not let me out of explaining why obtaining cheese in a tube has become the mission of the entire latter half of my trip. Whatever. The moral of the story is...I have cheese in a tube. I am most definitely sure at this point that it is probably the WRONG kind of cheese in a tube. However, if it is.....I DON'T WANT TO KNOW. :) 
