  My name is XmasBaby.. I was born on Christmas Eve.. I'm 33 years old, Married with no children. My hobbies include, IVF,IVF,IVF,IVF,Spending $$$ on IVF,IVF,IVF,IVF, Is there anything else to do??? My Infertility journey started approximately 4 years ago on October 14, 2000 when I got married to my High School sweetheart.. We'll call him "Brave Warrior".. BW for short. I thought that all I had to do was get married and then "Poof" next thing you know I'd be pregnant, Wrong. 4 years later, Countless medicated IUI's, 2 cancelled IVF cycles, 1 BFN (Big effin Negative) IVF cycle, and 1 miscarriage 2 weeks ago at 5 weeks and 3 days with Twins. One Million $$$$$ spent on Infertility treatment (not really, but alot), Switching RE's not once, but Twice. This time my IVF was different, We didn't use my Eggs, No my eggs are "BAAAD", We were told in my last IVF that I probably would never get pregnant with my own eggs and that I would have to have Donor Eggs. So BW & I decided to go the DE route. Picked a Donor, who was, by the way, "B-ute-iful... I thought this time was for real, We'll call my Donor "Selfless Person", SW for short.
SW and I were on the exact same cycle days from the beginning, How weird is that, and that was way before the meds. I thougt this was really a sign from God. BW and I were so excited about this cycle and thought finally our dream of having a family were finally going to come true. Two weeks after our transfer, I got the call on B-day "Beta Day", Your Pregnant, Beta came back at 56.. We told "Everybody", even people I didn't know.. Everyone knew.. Finally I was Pregnant. Two days later on 2nd B-day,, 229.. Oh my Gosh,, Do I have twins?? ?, 4 days later on 3rd Beta day... Holy Crap... 2626.. Yes, The chance for Twins is very good. Finally on US "ultrasound" day, We saw them, TWO Beautiful sacs.
OMG, i'm having twins... How exciting, again telling "everyone".. But two days later, My world came crashing down when I saw BRIGHT red blood............. OH MY GOD.. I screamed.... This is it.. this is the end of my Dream... 5 1/2 hours later at the ER.. I learned that I would be losing one, if not two of my precious babies. It was confirmed 48 hours later my Beta had dropped from 20,000 to 5,000.. It was over, my dream was over.
5 days later I was in my RE's office having a D&C and saying goodbye to my dream..... again.. Womb is Empty, Heart is Empty, Life is empty... Right now I'm in the "hate everyone" state of mind. Just when I think that i've cried my last tear, I break down once again... Why, Why me, What did I do to deserve this?? How come I can't share in the "american dream?".... That's all for now.. 
