  today sucks, everything is stupid. last night i thought me and lovely boy would go out. i mean he did ask for me to find out what time hooters closed. then only to find out he is on his way to sherlocks with the booking gang. ugh! no we didnt have specfic plans.
but damm, this sucks. i wonder what its gonna take for me to confront him on all of this?? i actually never will most likely. he broke up with me and broke my heart and thats when i decided to not speak of it to him again. why cant i just be him? i think hes very lucky to have someone like me--who loves him too much. i want someone to love me too much.i want to be him. i want to not think. period. no thinking.
i wnat to not feel sad at certain times of days or cry because of certain songs. i want ot not feel depressed all the time or cry while i type this. i want to be on the recieving end of phone calls not the person calling. okay, i'll give u that u do call me. but i call cause i miss u terribly and want to know whts new in ur life, to play catch up and pretend as if im still apart of it all.
u call and ur not sad ur happy. is it all fake? are u really sad? do u really miss me? my guess is no. theres no use in false hope. or any kind of hope for that matter. Please God read this lonely girls blog and help me make something happen for the good of us both. 
