  Here's some DIlbert GYAAN.. Please appreciate and applaud.. > 1. I can only please one person per day. Today is > not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. > 2.
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. > 3. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it. > 4. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
> > 5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing him again. > > 6. I DON'T HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM, YOU HAVE A > PERCEPTION PROBLEM. > > 7.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, "where the heck is the ceiling? " > 8. My reality cheque bounced. > > 9. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key. > > 10.
I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier. > > 11. You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. > > 12. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
> > 13. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo. > > 14. Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level, then > beat you with experience. > > 15.
A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the butt. > > 16. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be > promoted. > > 17. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
> > 18. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get. > > 19. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a > clipboard. > > 20. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
> > 21. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done. > 22. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried. > > 23. Following the rules will not get the job done.
> > 24. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this? " > > > 25. Only the mediocre are at their best all the time. > > 26. There's a fine line between genius and insanity.
I have erased this line. > > 27. Bring ideas in and entertain them royally, for one of them may be the king. > > 28. If at first you don't succeed......skydiving isn't for you. > > 29.
When everything is coming your way......you're in the wrong lane. > > 30. Those who work, get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotions. 
