  man i think i have to be the most impulsive motherhumper on the goddman planet. i walked my ass into the bathroom. peed. washed my hands. made faces at myself. and then gave myself a mohawk. i did it with an electric mustache trimmer (hey, i have a mustache to trim, it's just not on my face, but it is by my lips, just not the lips yer thinkin of). in my head i'm hearing my mother's voice asking me what kind of job i'm gonna get next. not nagging, because my mom doesn't come straight out and nag. she sneaks around the nagging and asks me a bunch of questions (such as, "so what kind of job are you gonna get in arizona when you get there? ") to display her unapproval. i should give her more credit. it's not that she doesn't approve.
hell, she may even like it. she worries. she worries so much that i'm not telling her that i'm riding a bicycle to new york until after i do it. then she won't worry the whole time. i already have someone else's mother worried about it so at least one mother is on that shit. yeah this impulsive thing. i impulsively quit my job. a few months ago i impulsively enrolled myself into some techy computer school and then quit (that was cuz i had no money). i impulsively moved to chicago. eh? whaddayagonnado? i think i may impulsively ride my bicycle to milwaukee.
probly not, but right now i'm feelin frisky cuz i just drank a whole lotta coffee. bike rides---> i just finished the mapping of the ride to nueva york. now i have to wait. waiting. still waiting. wai-w-wai-w-wait. the thing i'm worried about is pooing outside. i've never pood outside before. do you just squat like when you pee? is it gonna get on my pants? maybe i'll just hold it the whole way. yeah, and then it'll squirt out my ears. fuck that.
i'll just poo into my hands and throw it at cars. like our other little primate counterparts do. my brother says i'm not patient enough to be a teacher. then i stabbed him in the eye with my judo-ninja-kung-foo-pinky-trick. i think i am. the thing about it, is that he's never seen me in a professional setting. he's only seen me play the role of his little sister.
i say, if i can sit through a grown adult whining about how it's too hard to find the thermostat in their hotel room, or some old man screaming obscenities at me cuz we don't have any free hotel suites to put his fat ass in for one night, or some old lady wanting a discount cuz she had to wait 10 minutes in line, and never say no to spoiled fucking middle-aged children, do all of this shit with a smile and a thank you...then i can take some kid busting my chops.
hey i have a question. i just got an amtrak train ticket in the mail. it says that it's valid 01aug04-01jan05. does this mean i don't have to leave on the date that i bought it for? so if i don't get to the station on the 1st of august like i planned, but on the 2nd, then i can take the train on the 2nd? confusion, it abounds. 
