  I know theres so much i have to say, so much to type, but so much that its all gone into one big blurry mess, and i dont even know where the beginning is in my mind anymore. I know i should sit down, think it all through in order, then type, but ive got this urging feeling that i have to do it now, weather i know it or not.
I guess in a way, its on the equilibrium of it worried and feeling guilty about... to it all being sorted out. It's been cleared but not completely. There are still loose ends that need to be tied. Thats the best way i can describe it. Loose ends... But the thing about loose ends... if u dont tie them up, they fray, discintergrate, breakdown and split, until u can't use them anymore. But what if him leaving will cause the loose ends to fray? What if they can't be fixed. I guess i'll just have to hold onto those ends as tightly as possible, to avoid any more damage.
I'm started to get really seriously worried about my weight. With the worrying about loads of shit, to the kids at my work experience job, to the constant "something or other" on my mind, i guess the stress burns more calories than i can fit into my mouth. I'm getting so tired recently, and its not like normal. i'm sleeping like 9-10 horus a night, and i'm still waking up tired. It's got to be the weight. 7 stone and falling... I'm trying, so hard, so hard, to put that extra little bit of weight on, that hopefully will make the difference. Maybe thats why my cycle was shorter this time *sorry guys, u didn't wanna know*.. but the girls will understand, you know what i'm normlly like, it was only a week this time. i get tired at the most menial jobs, and my wrists ache after only a little while typing. I'm falling apart, almost disspearing and there doesn't seem to be anything i can do about it.
Wouldn't that be weird.. if one day.. i'd just.. disspeared? i just literally didn't exist. Who would notice? "*~-.Spinning, laughing, dancing, to her favourite song, a little girl with nothing wrong is all alone. Eyes wide open, always hoping for the sun, and she'll sing a song for anyone who comes along.-~*" 
