  My first entry on this site...kinda cool. Right now, theres so much I wanna say. So much I need to get out I guess. I just hate when I need to say something...but no words come. Lately, I've been upset really easily.
I mean...its been so long since I was this emotional. And yea I know, being emotional isn't a bad thing all the time. But sometimes I feel like theres all this weight on me...pushing me down. And sometimes, I can't get back up. Thats when I'm the most scared. I hate being depressed...yet I can't control it. When I get depressed, I lose all strength. My friends are my strength...and all I do these days is push people away. Its a bad habit, I know. The one day that I actually need my friends...they won't be here. They would have listened to me...and left when I told them to. Hes so much of my strength these days. He means so much to me. If I lost him, I don't know what I would do.
And I'm scared he doesn't know how I feel. I'm horrible with sharing things like that. I'm scared. All the time. And its horrible..I don't wanna be scared...but I guess I'm so scared because I know what'll happen to me if I lose him.... I don't want that to happen...I don't wanna get like that...its so scary...but I'll jsut have to learn to deal with it 
