  okay, besides having NO luck loging-in.. i've been thinkin. okay, now i'm gonna add some names to the people i talked about first post. me crush is james and me friend is jessica. that's all you get. now, jess told me not to like james anymore, but i don't really know why... ah well. i heard he just broke up with his gf, so i don't wanna say anything, not that i can really reach him. me cell got disconnected, and he's never online. grr. but, see, i'm not really sure if his gf is REAL, cuz of the way she was presented. no one had heard of this "sam" before (his gf's name was sam) and no one's met her. or talked to her. so. she may not be. especially cuz jessica was the one who told everyone. and cuz i heard that they had broken up before, but then, magically, they were back together, according to jess, and he just played along... hm.
now, though, he posted it in his blog *gasp* so i'm pretty sure it's final. well, final as that gets, anyway. if michael-boy and shawna (me old crush and me old best friend) were any example, an off-and-on relation ship is no surprise. good news! i got three a's and four b's on me reportcard! yay! that means i might get to do stuff!
if i got another c, i'd never live it down. but as of now, i only got two c's this whole year, and one was a c+. ah, well. i heard that some of my friends are doing much worse than me, james even failed latin, so i'd better not brag. not that i understand that. dunno what happened, but last night, he seemed really happy, at least according to his away message, cuz i didn't really get to talk to him much, aside from talkin about morrowind a little.
he didn't seem to wanna help me much, kept telling me it was up to me, even though i just wanted his opnions... yeesh. but a lot of people are like that, so i've seen. however, it was more of a hyper-happy, than a good-feeling happy. well, ya never know, his medicine probably kicked in ^_^. yeah, medicine, cuz he's got depression. see, now this is wierd, jess has some kind of bi-polar thing, (or she's just off, most people are, but i heard she's on meds too) and little sanko (friend of ours) has some kind of add or adhd, never could keep 'em apart. isn't that funny? i find people who are 'my type' and they turn out to be honest-to-goodness psychos. makes you wonder about MY mind. but if me daddy's obsession with dissing liberals has taught me, it's to be objective. yeah, i know, makes no sense, but i've been taking everything he says with a grain of salt since i was little, so i never take things for face value.
so, i'm not being mean or anything, about that they are on meds, it just was wierd to see people who really need... *cuts self off* okay, look, i live in a little hole in teh ground, so i dont' see stuff like this very often. i've never seen black people before my basketball team, okay? oh, i'm sorry there was ONE black kid who just entered third grade last year.
we had one korean kid, so i was used to asians, but that was it. oh, and there was a really short kid, so i was used to that. but most of the add peoples i had seen were messed up in the head so badly that even with their meds they were obvious psychos. or insanely hyper. the textbook def of a maniac. but me friends act normal, and i would never have known unless they told me. i'm not really observant. but now that i think about it, they do seem kinda off. not by much though. and this one kid, sullivan's his name, just ACTS like james for who-knows-why, but you can obviously tell he's just a poser, like me.
^_^ wierd to say, 'poser like me' makes me wonder... ME? like sulivan? *runs in fear* okay, got that outa my system. oh, and i've taken to creativity. surprise, surprise, surprise. yeah, drew a happy self-portrait last night, and been writing songs/poems, mostly after i get a strong feeling, cuz that's the only time i get creative > here goes: "Don't leave me again I don't like to be alone please just sit with me let me pretend that i'm home" kinda creepy, huh? wrote it when james was leaving, last day of school. "No matter what you say however you might say it makes me feel its worth it to stick it out one more day" after james told me somin or other, basicly to say "i'm just happy to talk with you" hope it came off right.
now how am i gonna do anything WITH this stuff? maybe i'll make a sig, havent' done that in a while. oh, and insert tears here, for i just found out that ALL OF MY REAVEAN LETTERS WERE DELETED!!! *cries* that took me FOREVER so i hope alyssa (me old best friend) has her old copy. *prays* 
