  Hey whats up?  I have been a lot of things these last few days,  emotionally that is.  I finally broke down last night when It finally hit me. my whole world came down on me in a period of two days. I was standing next to my bed and all of the sudden I just fell to the floor and started balling my eyes out.
I couldn't breathe I couldn't even think straight I just cried and cried some more. I am sorry Greg if I have been mean to you but it is my only responze to how I feel about everything that has happened,  I feel like it was all just unfair. I told you I wanted you to be happy but I didn't realize in order for you to do so I would be badly hurt. And well I think we know about the Tara situation,  that is if you've read Cody's diary. and that is leaving me feeling helpless also.
I am just fucking up aren't I?  Maybe I should just quit and go back to where I was before all of this. I will go back to my little hole where I came from and will just stay there. I can't help but feel this never ending pain right now.  ~ A* J 
