  Hey whats up? I dunno whats wrong with me right now but I feel depressed and I dunno just not worth anything...Hmm...I feel so helpless on where my life is going right now and I think that I am goin through withdrawl...Why can't I get out of this hole...god I feel like right as I finally climb up to the top and look out I slip and fall back in and I just keep tryin and tryin and yet I don't feel like I am getting anywhere..Why do I feel like this right now? Why? God...someone just help me...is it just a hormonal thing or am I actually fallin down mentally?
I dunno whats wrong with me I am just sooo confused and lost about me...I am just a stupid emotional mess all together...now I know why I started self-mutilation in the first place because I think I am worthless and not good enough for anyone...I hate myself and who I am... I need help...I do and I am soo afraid I am gonna go hurt myself after this and I so don't want to so I hope something distracts me until I fall asleep cuz otherwise I am gonna have some problems..but I just needed to write this out or "journal" if you thats what you wanna call it..Soo I am OuT. ~A*J 
