  Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her first-grade pupils. "Johnny, what is your problem? " Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first Grade. My sister is in third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too! " Ms Brooks had had enough, so she took Johnny to the principal's office.
The principal agreed that he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. He started by asking Johhny some simple arithmetic. "What is three times three? " "Nine, Sir. " "How much is nine times six? " "Fifty-four.
" And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looked at Ms Brooks and said, "I think Johnny can go to third grade! He seems smart enough. " Ms Brooks said to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions? " The principal and Johnny both agreed. Ms Brooks asked, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Johnny, after a moment, answered "Legs, Ma'am" "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have? " "Pockets! " "OK, what does a dog do that a man steps into? " "Pants. " "What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? " "Coconut.
" "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? " The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Johnny was taking charge. "Bubblegum! " "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? " "Shake hands, Ma'am. " "Now for some "Who am I" sort of questions, OK?
First one. You stick your poles inside me, you tie me down to get me up, and I get wet before you do. " Johnny, quick as ever, answered, "Tent! " "OK, a finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
" The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense. But Johnny was on the ball with "Wedding Ring! " "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. " "Nose.
" "Right, I have a stiff shaft, my tip penetrates, and I come with a quiver. " "Arrow. " "Good, now for the last one. What word starts with an 'F', ends in K', and means a lot of heat and excitement? " Firetruck, Ma'am! " The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send him to university, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!
" 
