  Homework 5/14 talk to doctor about sleeping pills exercise regularly make a list of what I want in a wife - my perfect wife - do I deserve that? don't tell L everything that's going on with me have safe sex - with L too characteristics of my perfect wife: honest, kind, generous, loyal, affectionate, family oriented. enjoys children, accepts all aspects of child rearing. Agrees that physical discipline should be limited. activities: walking/hiking, camping, bicyling, other outdoor activities. willing to try new things.
physically fit. no smoking, no drugs, limited drinking. not particularly into the bar scene. spontaneous. enjoys sex, especially giving and receiving oral sex, and is sexually adventurous. She sees a bigger picture in life, she has lifelong goals that she wants to accomplish with me.
she's not necessarily religious but she is moral and is capable of abstract thinking and discussions. She enjoys board games and card games - game night together or with the kids. Homework 5/28 The wisdom of hindsight. What are the qualities in L that I didn't like that I'm recognizing now? Think about the difference between having judgement and having feelings. I can work on detachment from L and not judging her but I can have feelings of hate and disgust.
Forgiveness before it's time usually means denial Homework 6/4 necessary - take meds daily. exercise daily. regular sleep schedule. sleep routine. no computer games after 9pm. sleep routine.
calming activities. Yoga breathing and mediation / stretching. Read a fun novel. No TV. Maybe a comedy movie. Dull ache is an appropriate feeling.
Homework 6/22 I can say bad things about L but no one else can. I'm doing the best I can here. I don't want to hear those things right now. They put me on the defense, where I don't want to be. Practical advice is okay, but I don't need emotional advice - no shoulds. It's in my personality to still care for L. I can have compassion for L but not feel sorry for her 
