  I had tried a new template, didn't like it, and switched back to my original, I think. The new template made font sizes too big, I felt it was nearly unreadable.
It also contained html code for links and stuff, but I really don't need that on my blog site. Let's see, what's been going on in my world? Geez my last real post was 7/14. Um. S and I are still together, still talking daily - via phone and email, still wishing we could see each other more often.
Will we go the distance? Time will tell, but we both have a strong feeling about it. Her therapist is much more supportive of her than mine is of me. But maybe mine is looking out for my best interests. Thursday night I had yoga, then worked for about 40 minutes, moving a server from one rack to another, then went on to S's house. I had lied to L that I wasn't seeing S - I was seeing someone else. S made me grapes, cheese, salmon, and potatoes for a late dinner. Then we hung out in her room, talking, kissing, fooling around, and eventually sleeping. The next morning I said that I should get back home to help get the kids up.
She was visibly upset, and I told her, "if you ask me to stay, I'll stay. " I had to repeat this before she asked. I stayed. While she got ready, I took the dog for a walk, and called L. "I ended up sleeping over at Michelle's house, so I won't be around to help get the kids up this morning.
" I felt so cool lying like that, like oops, I let her name slip out. I don't know if she took the bait. I was about 30 minutes late for work, but it was great being with S. Friday night, L went out, taking Ivy to a rennaissance festival in Ansonia. I was meeting with realtors discussing how much they thought they could sell the house for, and what houses I could look at over the weekend.
Then L came in, saying that her friend was waiting in the car, dumping a cranky Ivy in my lap to put to bed. Gee, that was a little awkward, I had guests! And the fucking realtors were taking their sweet time. I should have told them to shut the fuck up, give me the bottom line and let me put my daughter to bed. My whole body was aching and I had a migraine coming on - not a lot of fun. The fucking realtors were on their way out, but were talking to me from outside, with the front door open.
Bugs were flying in, annoying me to no end. I put Ivy to bed, and then I called Lisa, who had returned my call -- I'd asked her to go with me and the kids to the baseball game next Friday. She was excited about the trip she'd taken to Omega Institute, where she roomed with a bitch who ignored the rules of no smoking and no alcohol, and was in emotional therapy for her week.
Lisa was much more balanced, and in for sign language. Sounds like she had a great time. She agreed to go to the baseball game, so I'm really happy about that. It's really a huge relief for me. One because I'm not a big baseball fan (that is, I never watch), and two because I was concerned about taking my two kids to the game by myself. Lisa is so great. Just as I was hanging up with Lisa, S was calling on my cell. She wasn't happy that I was talking to another woman about the baseball game.
Especially since I'd admitted that I had been attracted to Lisa at one point. You know what? Too bad. I invited S to the game and she'd declined. I tried to tell S that I no longer had any interest, but this is her issue to deal with. My body was aching horribly and my head was pounding. I felt light-headed, dizzy, nauseous, and tired.
Maybe due to the 3 hours of sleep the previous night or that fact that I was on something of a starvation diet. Saturday I was still quite achy. The kids played most of the morning and we left around 11 to find a park to play at. I had called S at around 8:30, but she was still asleep. I called S again, but her cell went to voice mail. I didn't leave a message. About 10 minutes later she called back. I persuaded her to have a chance meeting with my kids -- we'd be playing at a park near her house and she'd come with her dog on a walk.
The meeting was great and it was great to see S, even if we couldn't act as if we knew each other. The kids loved her dog. Afterwards, maybe against her and my better judgement, we took the kids to McDonalds for lunch and to play at their play area. S was really good with Ivy, coaxing her to eat all her lunch. The only real contact we had was incidental. I drove back and put the kids down for a nap. I got them up around 5, made them some dinner (PB&J) which they didn't eat, then we took a bubble bath.
Ivy got soap in Aidan's eyes and that ended the bath for them. I should have been paying closer attention. My body was still aching a little, and I started feeling queasy and started having diarrhea every hour or so. Yay. I crashed early. I got up, took the kids to look at houses. 2/4 inside visits. 1 was okay but no garage. the other was crap. Both were within 3 blocks of the beach. It was fun, but the kids were at times difficult to manage. Margaret (realtor) had ideas on how to help me cover the costs of keeping the house -- sublet out the basement on a weekly or daily basis -- maybe to business travelers at work.
After the houses, went home and crashed, feeling exhausted. L was home and took on the kids. More headache, dizziness, light-headedness, exhaustion, diarrhea.
Yay.
I got up when I was paged for work. Backup problems. I worked on those. After their nap, played with kids outside in the rain. Pasta and sauce for dinner. Then bedtime again. Once they were in bed, I had more work to do -- update 22 NT/2000 servers with IE6SP1.
Got paged in the middle, 2 other unrelated servers needed to be rebooted. Went into the office to finish up change conrol. Finished by 9:45. Called S and chatted a while. Taped Six Feet Under. Made the mistake of not answering the "do you think I'm fat" question correctly. Watched last weeks SFU episode. Called S back and told her conversation had ended awkwardly and I wanted to clear the air. She was really happy I'd called back. Then I watched this week's SFU episode. Still couldn't sleep, read and sent a few emails to S. Fell asleep around 2.
This morning I was feeling better, physically. Sent fax to 2nd lawyer about mediation agreement and my concerns. Do i have a leg to stand on? 
