  Something got messed up with that last post,  and all of my text disappeared. nbsp;  It's a shame,  too,  because I believe I had captured,  in the most eloquent and flattering way,  the story of Nasty Pants G-
ma's intestinal distress yesterday.
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 Oh,  well.
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 Now I'll have to tell the REAL story.  As stated above,
 G-
ma had intestinal distress yesterday.
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 She blamed it on the grape juice that " came from the Hindus' down the street.
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 I blamed it on her rotten potato/ brown lettuce/ can of cream- of- chicken- soup- minus- the- water concoction that she let sit out on the stove,  uncovered,  for two days.
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 Tomay- toe,  tomah- toe.  She asked the husband to run out to the store and get her some Pepto.
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 He had to do a bit of food shopping,  anyway,  and he was excited at the idea of getting out of&
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the house for a while.
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 While he was gone,  I set about cleaning up the kitchen.
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 In the time that he was gone,
 G-
ma managed to shit her pants twice,  sit down on the couch (
still wet and dirty)  and remove her soiled undergarments,  and proceed to bare- ass it to the bathroom while simultaneously leaving a trail&
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of the contents of said spoiled undergarments all across the floor.
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 All the while,  I'm standing at the kitchen sink,  horrified.  I ran upstairs.  When the husband came home,  I ventured out of my room to help with the groceries.
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 Although,  how anyone could bring food into the house a)
 knowing how dirty it was to begin with and b)  after the incident I had just witnessed,  was beyond my understanding.
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 Nevertheless,  I helped him unpack the groceries.
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 When he gave G- ma the bottle of Pepto,  she thanked him by saying,
 "
I only eat Pepto tablets.
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 I have to be careful what I put in my mouth.
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 You have to take this back and get me the good stuff.
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 Oh,
 yeah.
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 [ followed by guttural throat clearing that lasted for two minutes]  After shooting me that " I wish I could strangle her"  look,  he headed back out the door.
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 I went back upstairs to get ready for work,  thankful that my boss had asked me to come in on a Sunday.  *
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