  Today i woke up at about 1-2 PM but not fully. Mom comes in while im sleeping and wakes me up telling me that my tutors going to come. That was a bit of a surprise because i havent seen him in like 2-3 days. I was dead tired in my bed, opened my eyes a little and told her that i couldnt get up. I was just way too tired. She said that she had to call him.
So i told her where my wallet was which had his number, and she did. Then i fell back asleep. I awoke at about 6 pm then. Got on IRC. Started chillin' and thats all really i did for a few hours. I was hungry.
Really hungry. There really isnt any food at all in the house. Everytime my mom goes shopping, she supposedly spends $100-200 on groceries. I dont see on what. She buys nothing at all that i like. Since my brothers diabetic, she buys tons of sugar-free crap.
Im getting extremely sick of all this. I am underweight according to a BMI calculator AND my scale, yet no one gives a flying fuck. Its pathetic how i live... I hate my life sometimes. I will never say that i hate myself. Cept for my nose... After awhile of talking on IRC and stuff, hanging out on the gentoo box as usual updating things, i decided to just fool around and look for food.
Nothing really in the house. So my mom orders italian food. So i had that for a dinner. Thats basically the only meal of the day that i get something to eat. Dinner. My mother does not cook at all, and my father is considered dead to anyone in the house.
Hes a peice of shit. My mom was also talking about how we're gonna be moving in a week. Thats very surprising. A week. Considering that my birthday is IN a week. 7 days till i turn 17 on the 7th month of the year.
Lucky 7's. Ive been very angry lately. My health is shit. I have nothing. No friends really that can come see me. But who knows, thats probably gonna change after the move, cause we're going back to our old area.
I really do not want to. I like it here even though its hard to even go anywhere. But when i do get the chance, i go for it. My rooms extremely messy. I just started not giving a crap. Who cares.. My lifes just another crap hole.
I find my freedom online. Its kinda hard though. Right when i get online then finish about 17 hours later, i realize that i didnt really do anything progressive at all. What exactly do i do? I sit here, look at some sites, sit on IRC and various other random things... Today was just very long and annoying though. I was noticing that i had no clue how to check on packages on the Gentoo box that needed to be upgraded.
I asked my friend uptime on IRC to ask one of his friends, and it was a simple thing which i ALMOST kinda knew as what to do. It was a simple line, so i did it. I noticed that there were a bundle of packages that needed to be upgraded, including the kernel, xfree and glibc. Not knowing that xfree and glibc would take that long, i went along with the upgrade. It took literally 5 hours for all 17 packages to finally upgrade. I dont even know if it was worth doing.
After the final merge, the emerge tool told me that i had about 290 old /etc/ files. I checked with etc-update and noticed that most of the things that needed to be updated were all the new files that came from the xfree upgrade. I just left them, it was very odd. I never came across something like that. There were also some minor alterations in the newer /etc/ files... At the moment im extremely delerious. I really dont see myself at the moment as being able to fully comprehend the things im thinking.
Its very strange. But this is what happens when your in delerium. Im starting to just see things. Not something crazy like youd see out of mirage. But just... stuff like specks. And spots.
For all i know it should be shadows, and for all i know it could be mosquitoes. Somehow mosquitoes get in the house. A few times, giant mosquotes would come in. Now, my idea of giant is about 4-5 inches long. Well their legs that is. Also when your in my position of delerium from sleep deprivation, you start to feel very dirty and sick.
Like you have 10,000 spiders crawling all over. You start feeling all the nicks and nacks of things on ur body that u dont normally notice a feel to. You start feeling your hair folicles touching your head tickling you. You start feeling the hairs on your neck and back rub against your skin. You start to feel the material on ur shirt start tickling on you. Your hands itch.
Everythings sick and disgusting. Your mind gets warped. You start hearing weird noises and start realizing things as if you got released into an omnipotent status. Freaky. Right now its about 5:25 AM. My teachers gonna come today, i better sleep soon because i dont wanna miss another day of tutoring.
I would sleep, but im just a bit paranoid with all the shadows and things im seeing. I really do not wanna sleep while having one of those big mosquitoes in my room. I gotta set my alarm... 
