  do any of you guys read the onion? well, i was looking at it this morning and came across these two gems so i thought i would share... i could NOT stop laughing! (to cover my ass for copyright purposes: http://www.theonion.com/) Local Woman Dies Of Lost Cell Phone APALACHICOLA, FL— Catherine Polk, 24, died at a local Starbucks Monday afternoon, due to complications resulting from the tragic loss of her cell phone. "It was horrible—Cathy didn't have any of her numbers written down anywhere else, and she was waiting on a call about last-minute tickets for a concert," said best friend Melissa Barreth, who was with Polk when she first discovered that her Cingular V400 quad band/GSM cell phone was not in her purse.
"We tried everything to find it, but in the end, there was nothing we could do. " The coroner's report confirmed that Polk died of a sudden lack of wireless service. 7-Year-Old Asshole Demands You King Him COS COB, CT— On the 23rd turn of the game Monday, 7-year-old asshole Andy Scot advanced a checker to the opposite end of the board and plunked it down on a black square. "King me," the smug little bastard said, folding his pudgy arms across his sweater-vested chest. "Do it. " The checkers game, which continued apace after you placed a checker on top of his, was at least a reprieve from hearing the little shit say "sorry" during the game of the same name. thought that might brighten your day :) 
