  Hi, It was quite a revelation on Lani’s part. Now I understand why Lani’s texts were a bit weird to me. Now I have a full grasp of her situation. But I was glad to see her in a good mood and still managed to make herself pretty. All the while I had a picture of Lani in my mind looking haggard and plump, in a state of confusion and depression. I am glad she had her awakening and hopefully this time, she’ll learn her lessons well. I don’t wanna judge her husband yet as I do not know the whole story, but of course, I would admit my partiality to Lani’s story and revelations and I believe her story because she’s a friend and I would stand by her. Whatever Lani’s mistakes and wrong decisions are things that I would like to condone but I do hope, she’ll find the strength now to see her life in a different perspective thus initiate changes in her life and in her priorities.
Perhaps, after arriving at a final decision, she could start planning for herself and kids and make a real moving on. Why am I writing this? Nada. After that meeting, I thought to myself, ahh, there goes another story of marriage woes. Frankly, I have heard a lot of them already and the variety amuses me to no end. All sorts of sufferings, pains, sacrifices, and heartaches are things that stuck to my mind. All (relationship) stories I have heard bearing only one theme: problem about a husband. A husband that is a wife beater, irresponsible and immature and insecure, a drug addict, a homosexual, a philandering husband, etc. etc. etc., and the list goes on. It’s really hard to gamble on men. After loving them so much, they have the nerve to hurt and disrespect and unlove you in a very creative and a thousand ways.
I was asking myself once, what had happened to the male species, perhaps their genes had gone awry or is it because the female species had become so vulnerable to men’s love and passion. Stories of a happy marriage or a smooth sailing marriage life are like a balm that soothe my heart and mind after hearing troubled marriages. Thank God, there are still people who could preserve the vow of marriage, but I didn’t mean that people with failed marriages are unlucky and unstable. It’s just that I am at peace hearing happy stories. To continue, after that eventful meeting with Lani, at least I had the consolation of meeting you guys again, you, Ruby and Arlene. Anyway, the following day was back to normal, doing the office work and facing the challenge again of dealing with our clients.
The day has just started and I was barely starting my work when a cousin of mine gave me a ring asking me if I was busy, and you know me, I am a very accommodating person, that even if I am busy, I will let you squeeze in my schedule. When my cousin came up, first thing I noticed was her swollen eyes, I didn’t say anything, just looking at her, waiting for a bombshell to explode right into my face. And my hunch proved right, she immediately poured her heart out to me with tears welling up in her eyes and told me her problem about her husband (2nd husband, actually). She was confused, mad and disheartened. I won’t tell you anymore her long story. I am so moved by her because she was crying and I could see the pain she was going through.
This girl has a history of suicidal tendencies and depression brought about by her failed first marriage. As a result of which, she had a nervous breakdown and the effect of which was that she had lapses in her memory, sort of “ang babaeng nawawala sa sarili. There were moments then that she would find herself devoid of memory. In a split second, she would stare blankly, not knowing herself and unaware of the surroundings around her. Good thing, this lasts only for 5 or 10 seconds, afterwhich she would be back to her normal self. This is a very dangerous phase for her because people who do not know her situation might take advantage of her. Worse is she would lose herself in the middle of the road then a tragic accident might happen. God must be good on her, she has survived this. Now, her second marriage is troubling her again and I am scared of what might happen next to her. She might succumbed to her old tendencies again. So here I was urging her to be strong for herself and kids.
We talked and I was just there listening and saying words that no matter what happens, this time it should be different now, by not letting herself wallow in self pity and depression, that if she wants to survive, fight her weaknesses. Firstly, acceptance of what had happened will eventually lead to healing. Our talk was interrupted every now and then by calls and clients coming in our office. When she walked out of the office, I know she would survive this time. After she left, a young professional woman-client due for renewal of the loan came.
We processed the loan then after it was finished, she walked up to me and ask “magkano ba ang magpa-annul? I was shocked. What is this, “panahon ng hiwalayan.” Am I here to tell these women to assert their rights and leave their husbands if they feel they’re abused. You know what she told me, “I am tired of living with him, I don’t have a future with him, I don’t wanna grow old with him (sounds familiar, huh).
Yes, she’s a battered wife too, emotionally, psychologically and physically. We had a lengthy talk. Before she left, told her to give themselves some space first, to separate for awhile and if they think love has lost already, then I guess, the next possible thing would be annulment so that they could give each other a chance to start all over again. After a day’s work, I couldn’t help but wonder if God has something to do with my encounter with those women, including Lani, of course. Imagine, 3 in a row. I asked HIM, if He was showing me how lucky I am that am single and spared of all those hurts and pains. Yes, I admit sometimes in my prayer, I ask for a good man to come into my life. A God fearing person, intelligent, funny, compassionate, of course attractive, at least to me.
Someone who will love me more than I love him because I can reciprocate that love more than the love he will give me. Taking all these, shall we say we are blessed because our hearts were not torn apart and broken into pieces by people who are selfish and self-absorbed. But for me, my admiration goes to these women who have gone all through these sufferings and hardships. They have learned to carry their crosses, sometimes with a meek submission but managed to heaved a sigh of relief and survived . Di ko yata kaya yong mga experiences nila. But one thing is sure, I gained strength, wisdom, hope and faith in all these stories. I am confident that women were made by God with a sterner stuff. We are indeed lucky. Agree. 
