  i've been sick for a few weeks -- but i'm feeling better physically. my ibs flared up really bad on memorial day and lasted way longer than normal.
i went to the doctor - they poked and prodded and thought i had appendicitis. turned out i didn't - thank God. so they gave me some antibiotics and sent me on my way. then about 3 days after i started the meds, i started getting a really horrible pain in my back.
went back to the doctor - "oh, you have shingles. " what the?! so, they prescribe an antiviral to hopefully stave off anything too out of control. i spent the next week sleeping a whole heck of a lot. i never broke out in a rash, thankfully, and the pain has finally left. what hasn't left is the depression that seeped in while i was sick... i've struggled with depression most of my life.
i've been in and out of therapy, on and off of medications... now, i'm not on any sort of meds and i haven't been to see a counselor in more than a year and a half. i would say for the most part, the clouds have lifted, but every now and then, it comes back. sometimes it isn't much, maybe a feeling of sluggishness, and sometimes, it's a deep, dark feeling. this is one of those times, although, as i have explained to the people closest to me, it's different this time. i feel very low, very far from happiness and in one of my "valleys" but i feel extremely close to God. i feel like He's right there, holding my hand, hanging out with me in that valley. i hear Him saying "i see you, child.
i see that you are struggling. i see that you're feeling overwhelmed, like the waves are coming too close to shore and you feel as if you're going to be knocked down. but child, i love you, and i won't let that happen. i will be with you the whole time and i will bring you out of this. " although the clouds are dark, i do see the SON peeking through. 
